If...

This was a good day.

Just returned home from a long evening drive under a clear sky and beautiful moon. The top was down, the night was cool, the music and tunes soothed me and it was amazing to simply drive my city and enjoy my own company and thoughts.

Today was a good day. Work this morning and we were completely slammed during breakfast hours. I had the kitchen full with six other guys helping me and we turned out some seriously good grub for the hungry people in the hotel. After morning service was over, I headed down the main kitchens to start in all the final prep for the two wedding receptions. Somewhere over the canapes I was assembling and steaks I was grilling, I began to nod off with a huge knife in my hand and my Exec Chef finally told me to call it day. I rolled on home happy and fell into bed for a great nap.

Woke up feeling amazing, though a bit bleary, about four hours later and realized a friend was in town. We figured out where to meet up and hung out, had some coffee and just talked and processed life. He has a lot on his plate, at the moment, but is hanging in there and making good decisions. Was good to see him again. You know who ya are. :)

Having a little snack now and looking forward to having a great Sunday. I will open up the kitchens in the morning and then hope to be able to get away in the early afternoon for church and time with Lucas and Stephen. Stephen and I hung out last night and it was quite the experience. Went to the coffee shop and played chess, where he kicked my ass soundly...again. I have yet to win a game with him over these years. Every time I think I have him beat he sneaks up and murders me. Headed out for a night service and basically spent a lot of time listening and taking it all in. Got hit with some serious emotions and spent some time crying and talking about so many things with him. We paused for a bit and watched some fireworks and then headed home. Man...I love that guy. So glad to have great friends in my life who love me and are present to the questions and place I find myself in.

Have not talked to James much lately. Still processing through that whole situation. We definitely have feelings for each other but are at such different places in life. That comes with the age difference as well as the divergent things we believe or do not believe in. I think I will give him a yell tomorrow and see what his week looks like. He finally came back from the lake and we are talking some stuff out. Hell...I miss him. That's the simple truth, but I also want to help make the best decisions for us both. Time will tell.

I think I am just going to this up so I can catch some rest. Things are well and life is interesting. I am loving summer and all the fun things it brings. Hope you all are well and finding some peace and beauty in your life. have a fantastic Sunday and love yourself. You matter.

Daemon

The Heterosexual Privelege Check List

On a daily basis as a straight person:

1. I can be pretty sure that my room mate, hall mates and class mates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
2. If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
3. When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
4. I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
5. I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE Fag Tag or Smear the Queer).
6. I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
7. I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
8. I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
9. I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
10. People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
11. People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
12. I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
13. My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
14. People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
15. I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
16. I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
17. I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
18. I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
19. Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
20. I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
21. My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
22. I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
23. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
24. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
25. Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
26. I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in my workplace.
27. I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
28. I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
29. I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
30. I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
31. I can go for months without being called straight.
32. I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
33. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
34. In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
35. People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
36. I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
37. Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
38. People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out” ) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer” ) .
39. I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
40. I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.

I thought this was a pretty good list that Davey put together, so I posted it here. What else would you add to it? I am going to put my thoughts together and start my own list. What are your thoughts?

Summertime

Charlie the Unicorn

Just an introduction to those of you who have not yet met Charlie. :)

Grrr...fawk!

Last night, I went to bed in a miserable mood, which for me is highly unusual. I tend to go through life either happy and content or confused and a bit low. Yesterday, for as good as it could of or should of been ended up being a total fucking disaster. Due to my poor decision making skills, of course.

It started well. Up and out the door early for work, put my time in, had a blast working with Ryon and Tyler and then headed home to take it easy. My mom called me, so I ran out to the mall where her and my Dad were shopping and tried to get some stuff taken care of with my watches at our jeweler. Long story short, two of my Swiss watches have been acting up. In the past year, I have had the entire movement replaced on one, and the crystal and seals changed out on the other. Now both are experiencing some more issues. Needless to say, for the money and effort invested, I was seriously pissed off.

The guy I deal with there normally was gone. He has taken care of my Dad, my brothers and I for years and years. Instead of Jack,  I got some dumb fancy bitch who didn't know shit about crap and started giving me flack problems when she couldn't find our accounts in her system. At one point, while trying to explain to her that both watches needed to go back to Switzerland, as they had before, she tried to inform me that the work had already been done and the watches picked up in January. At this point, with both watches in my hands, I simply told her that I was walking away and she had better have another person in the store within 15 minutes. I stomped off, was able to control my mouth and then returned a bit later. Jack was in the store, took both of my watches and shipped them out and apologized for the dumb pretty bitch. I swear to God, I was so mad at her, I wouldn't even look at her or her direction. Fuck! How can some things that are so simple be so difficult?

Okay...rant over. :)

 I took off from the mall and my intentions were to get some coffee, hang out and play some soccer at the park and then eat dinner with my buds.

Didn't happen.

Got a call to come over and shoot some pool at Michael's club and long story short, ended up getting totally trashed with my old crew. Idiots who I haven't seen for a while kept buying me shots and drinks and somehow I came home with more money than I left with, even after filling up the tank and buying some grub. Needless to say, I was disappointed with how my night went and made it even worse by going back on my word and hooking up. I tried to text a few friends to set my mind right, but I was too far gone to be making any good decisions.

As I was falling asleep, I had determined that I was going to stay mad all the next day, avoid people, turn off my phone and just sulk. When I woke up this morning, the sun was out, I felt rested and good and of course I can't stay upset at myself or the world. That is not me!

So here I am, waking up and planning another good day. Try as I might, I just feel great. Tomorrow is past and today beckons and I know it's going to be a good one! :) Going to wash the car now, drop the top and enjoy my day off! Hope you all are well and are loving summer as much as I am.

Daemon

All over the place

To thunder rolling through the clouds and lightening crashing down, today I awoke. The sweet sounds of a summer rain storm were my alarm and I laid there in the flashing light as water streamed the windows and painted an early morning flickering light across the walls and my skin. The illusion of water all around took me to a place of peace and I was content to simply be, if even for a moment.

So much seems to change while staying the same in my life. Those who knew me in childhood still find my face familiar and the winding routes I take daily are haunts of former trails I walked and drove while growing up. From the ends of the earth and back to home I find myself. Is anything ever different or like the water falling from the sky, does it simply go round to whence it returned?

I have been writing here for a couple of years and the paths in my mind and heart are familiar to those who have stayed with me and perused these pages over time. The same loops and questions, thoughts and desires are visited again and again. The names and places change over the days, but I am still me. Will anything ever be different or is this my lot in life?

The stirring sounds of bagpipes seem to echo my hearts cry this day and I can sit here while they skreel, lifting almost as if in a prayer my yearning and hope for a brighter tomorrow, a bit of peace and some healing to all these tender and wounded places in my soul. I so long for another day, one not like this day, where my now meets my dreams and I find rest and solace to the ever churning and wanderingness of that part of me that seeks and never seems to find.

For now, I simply let the rain fall and wait.

How long...

How long, indeed.

Shutting down and Resting

So an interesting day. Different, to say the least. I decided (well, my body decided) that today would be a day of rest and relaxation. I got up early this morning, headed into work and cooked, as usual. It is something I enjoy and could practically do it in my sleep. Had a customer slip me some serious money. I thanked him and let him know it was not necessary. I think that he was delighted that someone was taking a personal interest in himself and wife each morning and taking the time to ensure that their needs and desires were met in an authentic and cheerful way. He took the time to introduce me to his family and we spent a bit of time talking over the omelette bar. It really is how strange the way that people connect and how something simple as remembering their requests and making them feel special could bring such a reward as well as time shared. Great to meet you, Mr Doughtery. It has been a pleasure serving you!

Came home this afternoon, finally was able to eat some food and took a nap. Then the phone started ringing and it seemed that everyone from my Mom and Dad, little sister and other friends needed some words with me. Questions, party plans, updates, all the things that make families tick and communities of people thrive. Was able to take care of it all from the comfort of my bed (even though they didn't know that) and then fell back asleep. Feltgoodman!

Got up this afternoon and contemplated what to do this evening and somehow managed to never leave the house. Worked in my garden some, attended to all the plants, cooked a great meal of steak, potatoes and veggies and just kind of lounged around with my feet up. Some time to myself without any input and distraction was something I sorely needed after the last few weeks of busy and new routines. Had some friends check in with me, which was nice, and just generally lived like a dog for the evening. Been watching a bit of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" which is a crazy trip in and of itself. If there is anyone I identify with in this film, it would be a bit of Jack's character and big Chief. Such misunderstood souls but also inspiring. Not sure what I think of it, but it is neat to take a look into someone else's reality, even for just a bit.

Tomorrow is work, of course, then who knows? My parents will be back in town after their vacation and I am sure there is something being planned for my Dad's birthday/their Anniversary/Father's day. That will prolly be on Sunday, so it is getting full fast. I hope to get away for church after work and then spend time with my family and friends. My Mom blew him away by buying him a new Lincoln Continental this last week. He has driven his pick up truck for the last 10 years and never did a thing for himself. Wow, was he surprised! It is so good to see them happy and still in love after 48 years.

Still not processing what is going on spiritually and with James and they seem to be heavily connected in many ways. Not going to write about that here, cause it is still all raw and strange in my heart and head. I so hope to be able to find my way in all of that. Been reading a new book that Kyle gave me and generally keeping to myself a bit. Taking friends in small doses. All the new people in my life are still a bit bewildering and somewhat of an emotional overload.

Guess I will take a shower and call it a night. Three am in the morning comes early! Hope you are all well and finding love in yourself and with others. I know I am trying. Peace,

Daemon

I Love Miss Swan...she makes me smile. :)

Meh

Waking up. Don't want to remember yesterday. Incredible highs and lows emotionally. Spent a lot of time crying as well as dancing in the car, singing my face off. The term manic-depressive comes to mind.

Met Kyle for coffee and for some reason decided that a pinstripe suit and dress fedora was a sensible choice. Walked around in the rain talking about life and stuff. He bought me a book and my coffee. Not sure what to make of that. I am not used to people doing things for me.

Shoulder still hurts and no I have not yet been to the doctor. I am rather nervous about getting a professional opinion.

Working this morning and have to take off in a few minutes. Trying to kick start my brain awake. Had dinner with James last night. Will prolly visit that here sometime later this week. I just cannot do any more heavy thinking or talking today. I am wrung out.

Rain is what we have here and I am glad. It matches my somber mood. I want to be happy but am just not feeling it. Still cannot eat much. Feel like I am wasting away slowly.

I hope today is a better day.

Encounter

You know the story. A friend invites you to some random event, maybe a party or dinner and when you arrive suddenly you are deluged with the meeting of new people. Names and hands are pushed at you in a bewildering barrage of welcomes, questions and smile with maybe a few crushing man hugs with the obligatory three back smack. (urban legend has it that these three bracing back slaps given during a male to male hug with only shoulder and chest contact stand for the phrase "I'm...not...gay.")

So there you are, catching pieces of conversation, standing a bit back, sipping your drink and just watching this whole other world that your friend occupies when you are not with him. Different faces and people, kids maybe milling around, all foreign to you except for the familiar face you came with. Yeah...there he is, but who are these other people again? :P

Sometimes people catch your eye, or maybe it's your head? For whatever reason, in this crowd of strangers there are always a few that seem to have a stronger gravity than others that kind of pull you toward them. Part of it may be physical attraction, possibly the steady direct eye contact, perhaps a turn of phrase, but for whatever reason you sense or feel that this friend of your friend might also be your friend in time.

Such is the case with a guy I met last week. After dinner at a friends house, we all wandered the Plaza, took a walk in the park, grabbed some ice cream at Stonecold and then headed back to my friends place. As we all started going our ways, he grabbed me and seemed eager to talk and share life, so we sat down on the front steps and didn't get up for about 3 hours. Pretty intense if you ask me?

The last few days or so, we have been hanging out more and really digging into each other. Who we are, what we believe, what makes us tick, dreams, aspirations, goals, humor, hobbies and all the various things that we pass our time with. For the record, he is not gay, not by any stretch of the imagination. While he certainly is an attractive and intelligent guy, I have no feelings towards him in that manner.

He is simply my friend.

And he talks about God...a lot.

I guess the one person I did know ended up being a key that opened a door to an entire other world of people and possibility. Guys that make good choices and live amazing lives. That are content in who they are, comfortable in their own skin and accept others for where they are at. A group that I didn't know existed that had been right on the other side of my friends life.

And now I am becoming a part of that.

Encounter = Happy.

Wish you well...

Beach Bums. :)

For James

I am sorry. Will you forgive me? Text me when you see this. Lala.

Bits of my mind

I slept in a bit this morning. Stepped outside to find water spots all over my freshly waxed car. Took care of that problem and set about getting ready for a day off work. Having fun sometimes takes a bit of planning. Cancelled my date on Wednesday night at Osteria Il Centro in favor of dinner with my guys (in big trouble though he says I am not) and decided to get cleaned up and go play at the park. Today will be some Frisbee and kite flying, I think. Dinner at Stephen's tonight with Lucas and Matt. All in all, a rather simple day.

Met everyone at the Foundry last night for a few finely crafted microbrews and conversation. Ran into Andy from Wales and talked to him and met his room mate. They were having "make up beers". A rather funny concept, but understandable. Hung there, noshing on pizza and enjoying for once being a part of a large group. Decided to take Lucas up to 303 and show him the place. It is a French Bistro and Bar that some friends of mine own. (ie gay bar) Sat talking there about God and what he is doing in my life will sipping some water and tipping Andrew for his time. Derrick was shooting daggers at us the whole time. Not sure what that was about. introduced him to a few friends and wandered on. So strange to bring my church friends into my world and show them where I come from. Pretty cool of them to join me as well.

Might need to shave, it feels like, but on the other hand, not sure if it is all that important. Of course, I know I will. Old habits die hard. James took off for the lake last night with Omar and the gang. I can tell he is uber pissed at me though trying hard not to show it. I don't want to hurt him but I also have to be honest about the questions and concerns I am facing in life right now. Relationships only work when those in them are communicating about the details. He is upset about dinner but knows I will make it up to him. He will blow off some steam at the lake and get to know some of my friends better. I hope they take care of him well and let him relax and be himself. The sun and water will do him some good, as well as the slower pace down on the Ozarks. God, I miss him already.

Just throwing words up here because I know I need to. That salad isn't going to eat itself but lately I am not sure where my appetite has gone. Lost 20 pounds over the last couple months and didn't really know it till my pants started slipping off my hips. Weird, that? I don't know if I am worried, anxious, in love or all of the above.

Guess it is time to get the show on the road. Going to be a good day. I can feel it. Ciao! :)


Daemon

How about "No"?

Last night was a minor epiphany of sorts. It certainly didn't start out that way, but I learned some valuable things about myself and the severe lack of boundaries I have had with friends in the past and still currently struggle with.

After leaving work, I decided to head by 54th Street and grab some food and talk to some friends who work there. I read the paper and just kind of enjoyed having some space to myself without all the constant work of being social. I finished up and took a drive around the lake and went home.

Briefly considered a nap, but didn't want to jack up the sleep schedule I am on, so got cleaned and polished up and decided to head into the city for just a "me" night. Nothing big planned, maybe some shopping, dinner and karaoke at Michael's place.

*Bling!*  There went my phone...and suddenly plans are changing. Not only was it Stephen's birthday, but also a lot of my buddies were getting together to play sand volleyball, catch some sun and pretty much hang out by the pool. Sounded kind of nice, but was not my original plan. I started getting all the messages asking me where I was and when I would be there.

So...being a dumbass, I changed course and headed out to join them.

And hated every minute of it.

We never got around to playing volleyball or swimming but ended up at an Irish Pub sitting around a table talking. They kept ordering me beers that I didn't want to drink, and after the first one, I just let them sit there. I tried to listen to all the chatter and catch up to their speed, but while sitting there I realized. I don't want to hear this. Not any of it. My presence was not needed. I was not enjoying myself. I was wishing I had stuck with my own plans and not got pulled into another "guys night out".

So I left. I stood up, said I had to leave, took the hugs and punches and bailed.

It felt good!

I came home, spent some intensive time preparing and cooking the most intricate and expensive macaroni and cheese I have ever made, ate a bit and went to bed.

This was the right choice. I need to start doing what I want instead of being pulled into all kinds of hair brained schemes and plans by others who seem to need my presence and approval for everything they do. Sometimes I think I am just being used as some kind of ATM/Therapist by people I considered to be my friends and I spend way too much time doing what others want instead of learning to say, "No".


Last night I learned to say, "No".

We will see how long it lasts.

Tiptoe through thoughts

I woke up to some great music this morning and just laid there naked ruminating over how amazing it feels to be alive. My skin fits perfect this morning and a easy smile graces my lips.

Slurping coffee after an awesome shower and hearing the birds sing me into today. Pretty good stuff, right there. Another one lays silent in sleeps embrace for the sun to waken him from his dreams.

Not a lot of time to put down words about life but things are well. Simpler I suppose?

I am finding a certain peace and balance and new things keep happening everyday. I keep being amazed but not startled. There is a difference.

Made some new friends that have listened to my story, accepted my present and challenged me about my future. They beckon me to some new places and a generous space.

Hope to make time to jot some things down later today, but suffice it to say, I am well rested, fed, watered, sheltered, clothed and content. Man's needs are rather simply met, being akin to dogs more than cats.

Life in the summer doesn't get much better.

Time to away.

I invite you to today. Take my hand...

Let's live!

Daemon

Ice Cream, Anyone?

Since it has been so hot this past week, I figured I would post a song to cool you all off. :P

Zoom!

I need life to slow down. It seems to be rushing at and by me with breath taking speed. Things are happening to me and I feel like I am struggling to stay afloat. Things keep changing. It isn't how it always has been. I find myself confused more often instead of confident. I don't like the not knowing part.

What is going on? Who am I becoming? When did things get so complicated? I had a long talk with a friend this morning about it all and he just let me ramble on and on, trying to get my head emptied of all the questions that had built up over the last year.

Change is hard to take, but it is always something that I have craved. Am I becoming a fundamentally different person, or merely discovering new things about myself. People tend to come and go in my life rather frequently and there are few constants. Family and close friends remain, but who are all these people who keep pausing then passing by?

Ever feel like life is happening to you? I guess maybe I am just overwhelmed and a bit stressed out, but about what, I am not all sure. I feel strangely unsettled and discontent which is odd, since everything seems to be in its correct place. Odd, that?

I really need a nap, but I had way too much coffee and someone keeps talking to me, every time I lay down. I guess maybe I am having a rough day? Is this what unhappy feels like? Things are just "off" in some way. Everything seems right but I am just not feeling it.

Strange...I'll shut up now.

Morning Ramblings

Waking up to an alarm is so much different than merely letting my body find consciousness when it knows enough sleep has been attained. The soft music kind of calls me from my dreams and the far way places and times I travel each night while laying still in my bed. I am still not used to it. Habits are hard to break, I suppose?

Finding my way to work each morning this week has been interesting. Not that I am geographically challenged in any way but more so finding myself at this job has been exciting and also interesting. I am finally doing for pay what I have always enjoyed and I have to admit, I find it exhilarating and challenging, all at the same time.

I work with a predominantly younger crew that is hired and guided by our Executive Chef and each new day is new and exciting. Cooking in the Cafe in the mornings for all the travelers and locals is certainly a different experience than what occurs for the large events and parties that seem to be piling up for this summer and fall. It has its own pace and I find a lot of freedom in planning my menus and cooking to order what each person chooses for themselves. I guess the mornings are a peaceful and less frantic time where I get to take care of each person and group as I see fit and allow myself to interact with the customers, albeit vastly different than waiting on tables for tips. The white coat I wear, though still a newb and unschooled seems to denote that I am the expert and artist and know what I am doing.

Nothing could be further from the truth at times! :) I am just making it up as I go along...

This week is Pride in my city and so far I have been to none of the events. The weekend of course is where the huge celebrations and events happen and for some reason, I seem to have all of those days off. I have friends coming into town to attend and I am still not sure what my role is this year. I still sit on the board and work with the different organizations that help schedule and plan this huge event, but I have for the most part exempted myself from all the personal and political responsibilities that normally get thrust upon me. It is kind of nice to be able to attend this year without "working" the entire time with the different VIPS, performers and huge egos that seem to get crammed all together to pull this whole thing off.

This year the three day celebration is being held in downtown in the huge new restaurant and bar district and will have a very different flavor and scene than when held in Memorial Park. It will be interesting to say the least. I can't wait to see Liberty and his boyfriend and all the other friends and family that will gather in the Midwest for a few days of relaxation, fun, entertainment and solidarity. If you have never attended Pride in your area or have some pre-conceived idea of what is about, due to the media or religious groups, I strongly urge you to attend and simply watch, look and listen for yourself. Being among and with so many other LGBT people just like yourself is a massively affirming and positive experience. We have families and children, we come in all shapes, ages, colors and sizes with so many different stories and experiences. Most would have you believe it is merely some drunken debauchery full of sexual deviance and depravity writ large on the streets of major cities, and while that may occur in some places (as it does daily in the heterosexual communities) for the most part, Pride has always been a celebration of life and the diversity that make up our chosen families and communities. Those who so often rail against the homosexual community have never taken the time or effort to truly get to know us as humans and to meet those among us that we hold and call dear.

Talked to my Dad last night at length about my life and it was interesting to hear him ask questions and attempt to understand me a bit better, at least more so than he has in the past. He asked a lot of questions about my life as a gay young man and mused and wondered on how it came to be. He seems to believe and understand the complexities that make this occur in nature and humans and we talked about genetics and environment and all the other myriad of things that contribute to a persons identity and what bearing that has in our choices, lives and also how we view ourselves, others and God. Kind of cool to see him come around more and reach out to me, rather than simply tolerate what he does not understand. His fear as well as his acceptance and love is certainly due to the fact that he grew up with a gay brother that he has never understood. I am sure it was a pretty interesting and challenging experience then to have a gay son as well.

I know I am rambling again. Just trying to wake my brain up and get my day started. Been icing my neck down as I slurp my coffee and no, I have not got to the doctor yet. I promise to do so today after work, just like I told my Mom I would on Tuesday. Oops!

There are some interesting things I want to share eventually but time is short and my words are running out. I trust you will all have a kick ass day and consider and appreciate the unique person that you are and how your very presence contributes to the lives and happiness of those around you. Ciao!

Daemon

Too late to Apologize