I don't have my thoughts in order to write a post about this yet, but I had a conversation with my Dad today about the varying degrees of sexuality that are expressed by males and how clumsy our language of basically three labels is. *
What about all the guys who don't fit into the 0, the 3 or the 6?
What kind of experiences have I had with them and what did I learn from those guys?
How and why do we as a society expect guys to conform to one of the three labels of str8, bi or gay?
How does that limit us? How does that limit them?
I ran across this chart and it made me smile but also think more. My thoughts and experiences later. Time for popcorn and a movie. :)
daemon
*It was a verbal spin off from the movie Aviator, to Leonardo de Caprio, to J. Edgar Hoover, to his supposed homosexuality, to the people who live in between sexuality labels. My Dad and I talk about everything, just about.
I guess I tend not to see the language as limiting, because I acknowledge that the language is limited. Calling someone "gay," "bisexual," or "straight" isn't meant to carefully explain all the subtle nuances of zir sexual desires, attractions, and interests. It's meant to toss them into one of a number of very large bins as a frame of reference where who and what they are can be further defined and refined.
ReplyDeleteTo me, a guy who is a Kinsey 5 might call himself "mostly gay." Or he might call himself "bisexual, but with extreme favor for men." Which description he might use is mildly interesting in that it suggests whether he might feel more strongly about identifying with his attractions to other men or being open about the fact that he is open to whatever and whoever tickles his fancy. (Though I place no value judgement on either tendency.)
I think people (even the "I hate labels" people) tend to get too wrapped up in labels. Labels are a handy key for gaining understanding. And yes, they can be somewhat limited. But they're only limiting if you forget that labels can be combined and/or qualified.