Turn, turn.

Life has a strange way of shifting. One could call it perspective, or even more specifically, focus, but in the end it all comes back to our own personal view of events and the story we live externally out to others and internally to ourselves.

I have undergone this shifting on many different fronts the last few months. More than likely it has been a series of events and circumstances that has shaped my growth and maturing as a person, but the present and not too distant past leaps more easily to mind.

I shared that I took a break from my patterns and life for a while, to focus and concentrate on who I am, the things I have done and who I am becoming. Some in my life were alarmed at that and others waited, somewhat amused I might add, to see what this break might have in store for me. I could attempt to go into great detail about the myriad of choices, events and emotions that transpired over this time, but that would muddle the waters further about what I am trying to say here today.

As of Friday morning, my break will have ended. Life has come full circle in some ways and I am the most surprised at it all. Through a series of what appeared to be random events I find myself going back to the place I found myself most happy and content. During Pride this last month, I happened to run into Chef Kyle and his extended family at the concert and events we were attending. He was there with his Mom and Dad, as well as his girlfriend, and they had come out to support his younger brother and boyfriend as a family. My friends and I were wandering through the tents and displays when I heard someone shout my name. I turned to find him and his group and I spent some time talking to him and catching up on life. He asked as to how I was doing and what I was filling my time with. I answered in a vague way but he was rather direct. He told me that when my life had settled down, to give him a call and he would be incredibly happy to put me back to work at the Marriott.

Fast forward to this week. I called Bill, my GM at the hotel and conference center and asked to speak with him. We set up an appointment and I came in to talk to him and bring him up to date on all that had transpired since last December. For those not familiar, it was a trying time in my life. Michael, my (I have no idea what label to use here) made a series of choices that culminated in me saving his life, and I was dealing with the aftermath and fall out of those events. When someone you love struggles, everyone hurts and no one is immune to pain. I learned that the choices we make effect so many more people than just ourselves. It is a story I still am not ready to talk about, not even here, but it ends with him currently healthy and well, back to life and work and me single and pursuing my own version of success.

I talked to Bill frankly about this all. He has known me since High School and has been my boss since I started waiting tables at the Stadium Club and on the Plaza. I filled him in on the details and explained where I was at my new job, the goals I had personally with my career, the reasons for my departure last year and my encounter with Kyle, his Executive Chef. We talked about my past performance and he had nothing but good things to say of me and expressed his desire, and the management groups interest in having me back. He let me know he would talk to HR and our VP of Operations on my behalf and contact me with further details.

In short, Chef Kyle called me yesterday and let me know they had my position and place open for me. I accepted, enthusiastically and happily! I feel like I am going home. I have missed my kitchen, my friends and coworkers and the challenges and adventures that the job brought me. I know it sounds crazy, without all the details, but I find myself right back where I started, after a detour through life, love and experience and I have to confess. I am excited. I contacted my current employer and let them know of my decision and to my surprise, they understood and wished me the best of luck. My boss there expressed the sentiment that they knew they would not be able to keep me long. The opportunities and challenges that I thrive on were just not present and we all could see that, even if I was loathe to admit it.

I know my life doesn't make a lot of sense to others. Sometimes the choices I make are confusing and baffling to the friends and family that love and care for me. Life throws us all curves and I usually do not react in the ways others expect or would. I tend to take drastic and decisive action when others would recommend caution and contemplation. I have found, for whatever reason, that it always works out, for me, sometimes in the ways we least expect it to. It has been a strange series of interesting events but I know I have learned a lot through it all, about myself, about others and about the people in my life who love me for exactly who I am.

So here I am again, up early and ready to tackle a new old adventure. A fresh hair cut, vigorous shower and pot of coffee have my day started out right and I have my happy back. Nothing is at it was but things are as they should be. I have no illusions about easy success. This growing up and maturing process is just as baffling as it always has been, but I have learned something. We all need each other, eventually. It is never wrong to ask for help. If we could do it on our own, all the time, we would miss out on all the sharing of life and love with one another. I am thankful for the time I spent away from it all. I am also glad to be back.


daemon