What to say?

While driving home today from work, I tried to think of something to write about. It is finally a bit warmer and I had the windows down with the heater cranked up enjoying some fresh air. My mind skipped around a bit to different topics that have crossed my mind and that I have pondered the last few weeks and still nothing really jumped out at me. It is not that I do not have anything going on in my life. To the contrary, it is quite full now with work and squeezing in my friends and family in the free time that I do have. I am not really one to review books that I am reading, nor to talk about music or movies. Some bloggers write endless details about their social lives but I tend to prefer to leave most of that where it belongs, between me and the friends experiencing it.

Looking back across the numerous and vastly different posts over the years, I cannot say that this blog has ever really had some theme or purpose in my life except to provide a public written space for me to verbalize and muse about the events, questions and circumstances that I find interesting or happen to be engaged with at the time. Some are more trivial and humorous, while others are gut wrenchingly personal, vastly emotional and capture in specific detail who and where I have been at different moments in my life. I rarely write about my past and that seems to be a direct reflection on how I live my life. I am either constantly engaged in the present or looking, working and planning expectantly for my next future. I do not think it is a bad thing to examine our past, as that is where we have come from and has contributed to who we are now, but I have always felt that my own time is constantly slipping into the future. I tend to look inward, outward and forward. Just an observation, I suppose? I may start writing more about my past, once I have a reason to or can discover ways to tie it more closely to my present. I feel like I have lived many different lives and been so many varied people in a multitude of places over these years.

What do other people like to read about? I follow several different blogs that are vastly different in subject content, world views and personal opinions and keep up to date with the things those authors choose to share. Some are prolific, while others post more sporadically. I like to explore other peoples experiences, their thoughts about their own lives and the lessons they are learning as their own book of days go by. I really don't like to read any one's sex life or huge collections of emotional, drama infested turmoil that some tend to create daily for one reason or another. I enjoy seeing other people make some of the same discoveries that I have made, watch them cope in different manners and strategies and contemplate and view the similar circumstances we can all share in such diverse and other angled ways than my mind works. I like to read about reality and the way that we all are investing our seconds, minutes and hours.

I guess I never quite sit down and write with an idea, purpose or plan in mind. Some of what I consider my best writing has been the most painful but has also been inspired in an instant and flowed effortlessly from my mind and fingers. I do not like to edit what words find their way here and usually will only scan for spelling and grammar. I find it unusual and amusing at times what others have tended to comment on, but I always welcome the words that others leave for me to find here. I guess it just reminds me that these pebbles I keep tossing into the pond at least leave a few ripples for others to see before they fade. I have no illusions of posterity but I do know that I have made some great friends over the years, simply by sharing my ever changing life and self here. Some times I have a lot to say and other months, it wanes. It is simply part of my life cycle and how I process the information that is always sweeping across the background of my consciousness.

I am eagerly awaiting Spring. I cannot wait until I can see life and green all around me, for warmer days and sunshine on my face and body. This winter has done enough and I am more than ready to see it be gone away. Time will tell.

daemon