Damn

 Where has the time gone?

I am going to be soon celebrating the 32nd year that has passed since I raised my hand and swore to defend this country from any enemy and to support the Constitution of these United States.

That makes me old..er.

And I seem to have forgotton how to type.

Where does one start?

I am not really sure.

Just got in the door from dropping off my boyfriend and our other boyfriend at their place after a wonderful night spent together shopping, wandering downtown, having dinner and then making time and space for each other to decompress and share about our day and what we would like tomorrow to look like, budgets for time and spending, laundry, car work, house workm yard work and the myriad of details that make up our lives while running two house holds and a third virtual one all at the same time in a constant state of flux.

Hmmm...

I can do this, but i need to take a pause and get ready to share. Prolly make and have some coffee. I don/t have anything on my schedule till 11:00 am.

Be right back.

It is 3:56 in the morning on Tuesday, May 19, 2026.

It is going to be a full day. 

My typing on a keyboard is definitely out of practice, but I am here to review my past and to start my blog and writing to share up again.

Life and the world has changed so much since I was last here.

Epically things have become more and less and other.

The last six years have been a hard journey. There were many times when I didnt make it. It was maked for me by the people I call both family and friends. Many tears were shed for me and my condition, but they were not my tears. I had nothing to cry with, to cry for. I simply existed in a state of fear and anxiety, hoping for sleep, or for death or for an end to the turmoil and depression I was suffering with.

And then it got better. Not over night. For me, not with therapy. I needed time and space and peace and quiet to be able to hear myself at all.

I am weary but i'll be back when im not nodding/passing  out,