Thursday, August 4, 2011

Grappling


So much stuff going on and not enough time in a day to get it all down. Worked today, as usual, after three whole days off and got caught up on all my life stuff. Car and house are spic and span, got my laundry done, my hairs are cut and I am set for the weekend, once it gets here. Had my dinner with the guys last night (taco salad, om, nom, nom) and then over to Greg's loft for Bible study. Took off afterward for a late dinner and beer at the Flying Saucer with Stephen and am now home trying to get a few thoughts down before I hit the sack.

I am tackling some huge life issues at the moment and I cannot and have not yet processed them enough to begin a dialogue here about them. Some I will keep in my head and heart and others I am going to throw out to the wind and see where they take me. I can put a few thoughts down and their sheer weight and resonance tend to suck the life out of a room and conversation, so until I am ready to address them here, I will keep my peace. Simply writing a few of my painful experiences down has been carthartic and beneficial. Others will take more space and distance. Being able to share these stories and  chapters of my life with a few trusted and close friends has helped immensely. A burden shared is actually lighter I am finding. Who would have thunk it? :P

This will take time but I know I am healing in some ways. Part of this journey I walk alone and in other parts I am finding hiking partners with listening ears and personal maps who do not mind coaching and sharing from their experience. This life certainly has not been easy but I refuse to be a victim and have never indulged in pity or depression as a salve to placate the pain. I am learning it is okay to hurt.

Faith divides.

This I am finding, much to my  heart ache.

I wish I had the time in life to truly devote to all the things and topics I wish to write about. Possibly once the winter hits I will find myself at home and indoors more to grab my ever growing lists of questions and topics and start tackling them one at a time. Until then, this blog will continue to be just a few short blurbs here and there about my life and what's on the very top of my head and heart.

August is upon us and I am DONE with this heat. I wait for Fall. It is my favorite time of the year. I am sleepy now so all cleaned up I will away for bed. Peace on your all and know that much is right with my world and that which is not is slowly righting itself.

Follow your heart.

I am.

daemon

2 comments:

  1. I love the fact you specify hairs are cut ;) I know how it goes to not only have to walk alone, but that faith itself can heal and hurt, depending what hands it falls in. You can gain my trust pretty easily but for me to have faith in you? very few have that privilege from me. Hit the sack and I hope you feel better. If you feel like listening to an interesting dialogue about sexuality and faith you should check out my next post on brohaus broadcast (http://brohausbroadcast.blogspot.com), me and a good friend try and tackle the issue in two consecutive episode. The first of which will be up on sunday night. Hope you can find your peace.

    Cheers,
    Max

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  2. Looking back some of the most important decisions that changed the course of my life were seemingly minor ones and random at the time. The bottom line is you can make the best of it, but this can be an unfair and cruel world in spite of how honourably you live it and you need to expect this if you want to maintain your sanity. Yeah, fall is my favourite time too cos I just feel lazy in the heat. - Wayne :)

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