So I did.
Instead of going to work, I simply came home, rested, read and thought all day. I did not call anyone or take any phone calls. I simply stopped to think. I am glad that I did.
I think I will do the same tomorrow and the day after, or for however long it takes to get my mind in order and wrapped around what my present and near future should and will look like. I hope to share more here later but am a bit out of practice of communicating. I am sure it will come back to me.
Know this. I am well.
daemon
Daemon,
ReplyDeleteThis is career suicide. Been there, done that. I work in the hospitality field myself and realize what you mean about working weekends and not being available when your friends. I used to be in management and made quite a bit more money than I do now and left management because I thought if I didn't have to work every weekend that my life would be better, at least, socially. It's not...I don't have the extra money that I used to have to enjoy life like I used to do. The situation seems to be depressing but I sense that it's not the what that really causes your depression. Maybe I'm all wrong but when I read you, I keep feeling like that you're writing my life from a few years ago. I think you're dealing with some things that is overwhelming you and you think that by running from your life that it will be much better quicker and I don't think you can rush the process and be better quicker, but again hope that I'm all wet. I think you're grieving and I think you're putting a nice face on. You've got to find a way to release more often but without being self destructive..again I'm no professional there. I still do it wrong and as soon as I realize..quicker and quicker..I stand back and realize I've done it again. Daemon, I'll be praying for you. You're a good man.
Good insight from experience, Manny, and I do appreciate it. I am finding my way but have never had anything in life so set in stone that a new start ever bothered me. In fact, something different every few years has been very refreshing. I do realize I am mourning some things and also dealing with a back log of issues, circumstances and events that need to be processed and allowed to heal. There is no quick fix, I am afraid, but I have to take the simplest steps that ensure my best health now and for me that means switching tracks again. Thanks again for sharing and I will consider the things that you have said.
ReplyDeletedaemon
I absolutely believe that simple steps make the most difference. Sometimes we just need to switch everything off and listen...the answers are always inside us.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog and admire your honesty and openness. Keep shining :-)