I am alive!

There is nothing quite like being sick to give one a perspective on what is important in life. I know that I personally have always taken good health for granted. I awoke this morning and can actually breathe though the persistent deep cough is still hanging around. I have been off of work for three days, due to illness, and I have to say, that is the longest time in years that I have been bedridden and weak. I usually am able to just hibernate and recover within a day or so, but whatever this flu bug is, it got me good.

I don't have a lot on my mind this morning, though I have certainly had time to think in the last few days. I would wake up feverish from strange dreams and stare at my bedroom ceiling while my mind wandered. I cannot say all of my thoughts and ruminations took me to good places. When sick, I tend to focus on what is not good in my life and that tends to become a downward spiral, at least until I can get into the shower, shave, stare into my own eyes and talk me back into the place and person I know myself to be.

This morning I woke up early and am actually ready to head into my kitchen an hour early. I am going to hit the road sooner than normally scheduled in order to give myself time get things back in order. I really am not sure what to expect when I get to work, as we all have our own ways of organizing our space and others have been filling in for me these past three days. It will not be an easy morning but the rhythm and pace of work should help me settle my mind, get me to concentrate on what needs to be done and find my happy again.

None of us can predict when our health may take a turn for the worse. I know that I felt fine on Saturday and then wanted to keel over and die by Sunday afternoon. Yes, I might be a bit fatalistic when ill and everything seems to be amplified, including my emotions. I have learned a lot about myself these past three days, namely that I tell myself the oddest stories in my attempt to make reason and sense of the unpredictable and random that often happens in life. I need to remember that my stories are just that. Stories. It is good to be upright, sipping some coffee and ready and raring to go again. I simply hope that my kitchen is still in some semblance of order and that my peers aren't too upset at having to cover for me. Service work can be somewhat dramatic at times and when routines and patterns are broken, everything seems to get blown out of proportion. It is time to pour some oil on troubled waters and reassure the natives that all is well with our world. I am certainly not indispensable by any means, but I do think my employers tend to rely on me just a bit too much, as evidenced by the panic and drama my absence seems to have created.

I will put on my calm and solid face today, keep a good attitude, avoid the drama and probing questions and get back to what I do best. I ran across this list this morning and felt compelled to share it. I can say with certainty that I will be implementing these things in my own life as winter draws to a close and spring begins to show her face. I hope you all have a great day. We need to be thankful for everything, especially our health. It keeps us going and smiling.

daemon