Thinking and praying for John Raux

Moving Mountains : by John Raux

http://johnraux.com/

I am Female Illiterate, Girl Handicapped!

Got a call this morning to join a new friend for lunch. Glad that I said yes...we ended up talking for four hours! We were all over the place and I was glad to hang out with someone who as much to say as I do at times. Connecting with people has become something I am getting more used to as time goes by. These authentic friendships and open communication about what is going on in our lives is so important to our growth as community and also to our emotional and mental health. It was kind of good to download a bit of our lives on each other and for me to find acceptance in another person who truly loves God and wants what is best for our lives.

Oh...and it was a girl.

I know, weird huh? Since when does Daemon talk to girls? I must say it has been the longest and most honest conversation I have had with a female in the last 10 years...and I am not kidding about that. Women, females, girls, them, they...have had no place in my life. I have never been open to the possibility that they would make good friends. They almost just didn't exist to me. If I spotted one, my eyes went elsewhere...eh...a girl. I did not engage them in conversation and tended to just avoid them whenever possible.

That is not normal.

At all.

So, I am just announcing that I am open to the possibility that I can be friends with a girl. I guess that I might have to surrender my He-Man Woman Haters Club Card, but I think I might be OK with that? We shall see.

It really makes me wonder why I was so hyper-masculinated my whole life? My entire social, emotional, spiritual and physical life this far has always revolved around men, male activities, and just being one of the guys. What is that all about? I just never even considered or studied them(females) and almost had an opinion that they were another species. If there weren't guys involved, I wasn't interested. Good movie? What guy is in it? Where are we going? What guys will be there? Everything about the male....always.

Also...not normal.

I don't have an opinion on this yet, because I really haven't had time to think it out. It has been pointed out before that I have some kind of female issues, but I always just dismissed that idea. I do not know if it is misogyny or fear or what?

This will take some time to wrap my head around, but I am welcome to any and all comments! Any other guys out there also not interact with females? Any tips, concerns or help is MUCH APPRECIATED!

Thankful

I am thankful for:

good friends who show up and hang out when its not expected and most greatly needed.

beautiful weather, clear cool skies and a top down drive on twisty, curvy roads.

an amazing family who loves me and supports me in everything in life even when they don't understand my language.

clean crisp sheets and a safe home to sleep in.

the ability to express myself in music.

opportunities to learn more about myself and the why in life.

changes that come when needed, not just when wanted.

my church and all the love, teaching and opportunity it represents.

forgiveness.

the past being in the past.

another day to wander and be me, in my own way.

a God who loves me, just as I am.

a future, whatever it may be.

the hard times, because they make the good times so sweet.

myself and this life.