Is it immoral or unethical to expose a child to the religious or faith based teachings of their parents or legal guardians?
I don't have a ready answer of my own, but to be sure, it is certainly preoccupying my mind. I asked a friend this question the other day and we have both been pondering on it. I have had discussions with my Dad about this exact idea and we found each other on opposite ends of the spectrum during our talks, as if often the case. That does not mean the position we argue from is the one we espouse, but rather, it is more productive for two minds to disagree and dissect an idea that it is for two to blithely agree and mutually congratulate each other on arriving at the same conclusion.
My gut reaction to the question, based on my own experiences and thoughts on the matter is to answer in the negative. I believe it is immoral and unethical to expose a new human to organized religion and faith based teachings as a child. It indoctrinates a child into a world in which they have no experience or frame of reference and predicates their continued acceptance, support and affirmation from their family and community structure on the choice of acceptance of the position offered to them as "truth". They did not have an experience of their own that prompted them to seek and ask questions about the meaning of their existence, the possibility of a higher power or any of the other myriad of questions that religion and faith seeks to answer. Rather they were told, instructed and manipulated into accepting whatever their parents and social community believes in order to sustain their quality of life and support the collective belief system.
This is not an easy question, I know. But it strikes more closely to the root of the ideas and thoughts I was thinking and wrestling with yesterday. Doing this to a child sets up all types of scenarios that play out into their future, often with devastating and emotionally scarring results, internally and externally. There are also benefits to be had, for sure, but over all, is this a good thing to do, and if it is not, why do we keep doing this to our children? I certainly cannot put all my thoughts down in the few minutes I have before I leave for work, but I do think it is a good question and will be in my head today.
What are your thoughts?
daemon
That's a good question but I think the answer is found in the Scripture "Raise up a child in the way that they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." But parents who do not study their Bibles and leave that entirely to their church of choice end up teaching them what their church teaches which may or may not be the truth. Raise up a child in the way he should go. Teach him to love others as he wants to be loved. Teach him to respect others as he wants to be respected. Teach him to revere the truths of the Bible without forcing him to live as a square peg. And when you wrote that you believe it is unethical and immoral..another thought came to my mind. Religious teaching is not always correct Biblical worldview teaching and sometimes the only context of organized religion is in their church meetings as they have zero authenticity anywhere else. So you have a good point. I think the best answer is for parents who want to teach their children religious ideas should first find out what they believe and find out if it's Biblically accurate and if it's Christ-centered and then teach it to their children. But I realize that's a tall order. Most people will never even read their Bible neither study it to find out what it was actually talking about. Paul wrote to the Romans about kinds of Relationships in Romans 1 but he didn't need to tell them that in Roman law it was ok for a Roman male to have sex with a Greek male. He didn't have to tell them it was not ok, according to Roman custom, not to penetrate another male Roman. But most religious people will never know that because they've never studied to find out exactly what Paul was trying to indicate. Personally I don't believe that he was talking about homosexual relationships as we understand it at all in that context. And most religious people will never find out what Paul was writing about in 1 Corinthians 11 when the women were told not to cut their hair. They'll say that one thing must have been for another time but the other is clearly sin. They'll say that word of knowledge or miracles or prophecy was for one time but can't explain to anyone why they think that it's not still for now. So if a male penetrates a male he's supposed to feel shame and if a woman cuts her hair it's ok and if someone is gifted in word of knowledge or prophecy they're supposed to keep it to themselves. It's a religious crock because people are more comfortable with small minded ways than they are in reaching out across the lines. So I guess I agree with you in some light because the social rearing ends up being their guidepost rather than what the Bible actually means. I started to ask you when the appropriate time would be and then I realized that the appropriate time is when they are a child but they should train up the child in the way that they should go without trying to shape them according to organized religious beliefs. If I don't want my child to drink beer or spirits then I shouldn't have it in my refrigerator. If I don't want them to look at indecent pictures of people in various situations then I shouldn't have a closet full of it. If I want them to help people in need I should help people in need. Hope you had a good day Daemon.
ReplyDeleteBy what standard, what criteria, or what authority would you determine that raising a child up to believe in the Bible (or any other religious book) would be immoral? And if you raised a child by that standard, would not you then be raising them according to some other religion/philosophy whether it is written in a book or merely your own autonomously declared verbal canon? Bottom line is, you can raise a child in a philosophical vacuum. Either they will learn what you teach them ,what the church teaches them, the government schools teach them or what television/Hollywood teaches them.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous B
I had another thought just before dinner & that thought was "Why do we presuppose that any shame or conflict by nature is derived from upbringing or social construct's (including religious)teaching?" I should ask if you were ashamed at some point and you thought it was because you were taught that it was shameful by what method did you overcome that shame and did you really overcome it? Is ignoring that shame the source of conflict that's undermining your every effort for real satisfaction in your life? I'm not suggesting that it is the case but merely asking the questions that came to my mind at dinner. Hard questions. But I think the belief system that you're referring to and any shame that occurred because of that belief system is pretty easy to overcome. But any hard wiring, as I call it, that is given by God because He predestined some for salvation...I know that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that WHOSOEVER..but I really don't want to get into that because for the reason of by grace we are saved and not of ourselves only SOME will be saved..just saying that any hard wiring by God is used for a guide (Heb 9) so that we can serve God with a clear conscience. Ahem, I realize these thoughts would probably not be very popular but I thought it was worth thinking about. Reject it if you have some insight. God bless.
ReplyDeletethoughtful commments above. this is a great question. my quick answer is: to teach your children your religion is lazy. to teach them your values is parenting. what is the difference? well, a value requires reasoning, whereas a religious value generally only requires obedience. in the worst case scenario, indoctrination in the parents religion can be classified as emotional abuse. seriously. in my case, the shame i learned from the catholic religion followed me well into my 30's. i tortured myself psychologically about being gay--for many years. and when i turned to my parents for help, they did not know what to do. thank you, catholic church! as i have grown into an adult, i have also become an atheist, and my value system now is based on reason. i aspire to be good to others because that is what is best not only for me, but for the others. the reasoning is also based in social science, and also the biology of humans. i always say that a morality that is self sourced is much easier to maintain than an out-sourced morality. just look at the religious leaders who get caught with their pants down these days. at least when i get caught with my pants down, i am not violating any of my morals! the wrap up: teach children values, and rather than putting the fear of god into them, resort to the time-tested "because i told you so!" as they get older, they will begin their own search, and the parents can then be a helpful guide.
ReplyDeleteAll good thoughts here. I am still kicking this one around in my mind but I still do not believe it is fair or right for parents to "choose" what their child will believe and imprint them with whatever the family religion may be, for any reason.
ReplyDeletedaemon