Friday, September 25, 2009

Hmmm...


Somehow I have stayed up all night reading other guys thoughts and opinions about being gay and being a Christian. Alot of different ideas out there...

I wonder why I don't have deep thoughts about all of these ideas, theology and politics like they do? They certainly seem well informed, or at least vocal.

I don't know what I think or believe about all of that. I know how I have lived in the past, and how I am living now, but I am not sure how that relates to what I believe. What am I? Who am I? I guess I am missing a part of my identity or at least have kind of shut it down. I haven't dated another guy for 4 years. Am I misguided, uninformed or just completely wrong?

This is certainly crude thinking I suppose, but better now than never? I guess I don't have all the words I need right now to explain it all. I guess it is good that no one reads this except me. I don't want this blog to be just about my confusion and journey about this, but it certainly seems to be in thoughts lately and I don't think I will get any peace until it is put to rest.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Daemon,

    Read your post on Karen Keen's Pursue God blog. I've been a gay Christian for a long time, and I have studied scripture and prayed intensely about this, and I believe my sexuality, or same-sex attraction, is affirmed in the sight of God. If you want to talk about this, there are many places you can go, and if you would like to email with me and converse, that would be fine with me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Daemon, I see that Karen mentioned me in her follow-up comment to you. I blog at http://carleton1958.xanga.com/ and touch on SSA-related issues occasionally including part sof my testimony that are laced throughout my 2-1/2 years of blogging. Email me at carleton1958@gmail.com to find out more about our private Facebook group for Christian guys who struggle with homosexuality. Some guys choose celibacy while living out there lives for God, others like me are married and recognize that we still have some attraction for men but choose not to pursue homosexual relationships, and other guys are seeking God while continuing to decide their direction, but wanting accountability and support to stay free of acting out behaviors like porn and habitual masturbation.

    I just subscribed to your blog via Google Reader and look forward to keeping up with you. I will keep you in my prayers, brother.

    Jeff

    ReplyDelete