So, got the car all cleaned up. He shore is purty! :) Coffee is made(yes, I know I am getting a late start, hush!) and it's just about time to shower off the body, scrape the face down and head out into my day. Body feels good after a run. Today is all about cardio, tomorrow, back to the heavy lifting. Been trying to get my legs into shape, but they always feel like rubber after some monstrous squats. But man! I love that 2nd day soreness. Like when you stretch out in bed and your legs just feel freaking awesome! Who knew that stretching and flexibility could feel so good? It is like a really good pain that hurts sooooo good! Know what I mean?
So been thinking about my church and been getting some input from Christian friends of mine. I have been there since I met God and had never heard a word attached to us, but a simple internet search quickly yielded a crap load of info I am trying to process. I guess I go to an "emergent" church, and not just sort of, like one of the leading, cutting edge, cusp of the movement churches. Though it's not really a movement? Tim Keel, our founding pastor, whom I love dearly and showed me a path to Jesus is one of the voices that has truly brought this idea to fruition. Funny thing is though, I never heard this term till someone clued me in on a segment they watched on "Wretched" about the "emerging" church. Post-modern, post-liberal, post- protestant, all of these things I have heard and witnessed, BUT, never had language to describe them?
I do not know what I think about all that. I could spend alot of time describing and expressing what my church means to me, and the life it has called me to live and person whom to be, but that would take alot of words and time and my day must get started. I am going to keep gathering information on this and try to figure out what this means to me and how I am going to go about solidifying this concept in my head. Will this information lead me to some type of decision? I am happy where I am at. I love my church. I love God. They love me. But what kind of truth do we have? How am I being called to follow God and live out HIS plan for my life. It really is, just come as you are, find your place and experience community. We speak more of social justice than on truth, service and sin. I am soooo confused now. :(
Who am I supposed to believe about all this? Is this vague foundation spiritually the very reason why I am struggling with so many questions? Do I have any absolutes?
I am just gonna stop now, but if ANYONE has any input, I would appreciate it greatly. I am looking for an answer, and I am not getting anywhere. Peace
I recommend reading (or listening) these books open mindedly: The Hero with a Thousand Faces; The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell.
ReplyDeletePeople usually enclose themselves into some kinds of religious communities to escape their problems, to hope that they can help them deal with whatever comes in their lives, but that is self-deception. You can hide your problem behind the curtain of faith even fanaticism (that I have seen over the years) but it is still there and will be until you die. The problem is that religious groups will not allow you to think about your problems because they have rules, taboos, books written in the time when the social order was different...they usually will not allow you to step out of their frame and think for yourself. Religion should only be used as a thing to lean on from time to time because it is after all made by humans and it is not without flaws. I bet your problems with spirituality come from some boundaries set (again) by humans. If nothing else, study the history of Christianity (unbiased one), see when Jesus become the son of god, what happened at Nice at 333 a.d. etc.
I'm going to offer a countering view to Sillvanus. Because he comes from the view that Christianity was invented by men, whereas I believe that Christianity is truth revealed to us by God, we are obviously going to come to very different conclusions. I don't believe that providing a framework to think about your problems is the same as "hiding (it) behind a curtain of faith." Sure, some Christian groups encourage you to do the latter, and it isn't a good thing, but nontheism (lack of belief in God) doesn't logically follow. And as a Christian, I don't have as much faith in myself to "think for myself" on everything, but rather believe that, like all humans, I have a significant capacity for self-deception. And I think it a little silly to suggest reading an "unbiased" history of Christianity, since the topic is such that the writer's beliefs are going to affect conclusions significantly, so nobody is really unbiased.
ReplyDeleteBut from what I know about emergent churches (and I really know nothing about yours in particular), it would explain a lot that you are attending one. They have a reputation for being heavy on compassion but without a good foundation on doctrine. A church with a better foundation might be better for you, if they can see you as just another believer with struggles to work through rather than expecting "perfection" or rejecting you just because you identify as "gay."