Another day starting

Much better frame of mind today. Ended up spending yesterday evening with my Dad and just downloading all the events and thoughts that have been on my mind lately about life, dating, church, faith, friends, cars, future, school and finances. He really is my best friend in life, and it is always refreshing to get his perspective on this crazy thing I call my life. He encouraged me to continue seeking success with school and work, gave me some good advice where it comes to love and dating, cautioned me about some of the intricacies and fallacies of organized religion and is pretty much the best Dad a guy can have. I love him so much! We stayed up talking till well past midnight, keeping my Mom up I am sure, since she has the hearing of a bat! I finally came home, read a bit in Psalms and then sacked out hard.

Just woke up a bit ago, and realized I haven't shaved for two days and am at that place where I am either going to grow my hair out shaggy for fall, or get it cut today. I am kind of torn, but think I might opt for growing it out? I have never really had longer hair and always sported really clean cut styles, everywhere from my usual buzz cut, to a shorter Princeton. My hair really starts curling when it grows, so I think I will just see what it does now. Jeff says I need to grow it out to hide my horns...lol Definitely shaving today though! Scruff looks good on a lot of guys, I think, but it is NOT for me. Stephen always always looks good with it, but eh, oh well, it feels like fuzzy dirt on my face. Though it does feel good when you're making out, as long as you don't get whisker burn...lol

So yeah, going to drop the top today and get some therapy in the form of driving country roads, hitting the lake and sipping some good coffee at my wonderful Broadway Cafe. I need a day to think and get some writing done, listen to good music and kind of think about what the hell life has become in this strange summer of mine. I am truly blessed in so many ways by family, friends, community, finances, possessions and opportunity, but I can't help but wonder why? What am I supposed to be doing? Who am I supposed to be helping? What is the point of it all?

Definitely missing all my time with Michael today. Sleeping alone sucks as does waking up alone. I guess my skin is hungry and I need some face time with him. Probably grab some dinner tonight and hang out, watch a movie or something. It has been interesting to watch our relationship and friendship transition as we both process through our lives and find out who we are to each other in the most healthy and productive way possible. OMG...and he sold his BMW and bought a new 2010 Mercedes! I get to ride in it, but not drive yet..lol It is one beautiful machine! Silver C class sedan, which is a big change from his M3 red sports coupe. I think he looks great in it and he sure gets a big smile on his face when hes sitting behind the wheel. Boys and their toys, I know...but I am happy for him. He deserves good things after all he has been through and worked for in life. I still think he looks like a little kid in it, but don't tell him I said that! He is just a short guy, and with that buzzed hair and a ball cap...BWHAHAHAHA!

Oh well, I guess it is time for me to get my day started. I am waking up and the body feels good today. Get my run and workout in and then hit the shower. Looks like Culinary school will be starting in January for me, so I have some more time to get life in order, catch up with friends and family all over the country and enjoy myself before the grind of life starts up again. I hope yesterdays post wasn't too harsh, but it is truly how I feel sometimes. God is working on my heart and I am in a better space today. Thanks for all the encouragement and messages. They certainly helped! Oh yeah, pray for Stephen today too, if you think of it, he is one sick guy. Ended up with that summer flu crap I had. I hope he gets to feeling better this week.

I love life. I really do...