Sunday tales

Yesterday and church was awesome. Isaac spoke on thankfulness and really touched my heart about all the many things, people and situations I have to be grateful for. He took his message from the lepers that were healed and only one came back and thanked Jesus for restoring his life to him. Where are the other nine? I think many times in my life, I have been one of the nine.

So left church and fell into a trap. Okay not fell, I guess, more like walked willingly into a ginormous hole. Basically whenever I leave church, I drive through Midtown, and literally right past all the clubs that my old friends own. And by clubs, I mean gay bars. And by old friends, I mean people who should be my old friends, but still are my friends.

Confused yet?

Anyway, I decided to stop into one and grab a beer, watch a bit of the game, catch up on community news and just hang out since I had nothing planned for the day. I figured, whatever, I am all good.

Wrong... big time! Friends found out I was there and guys started showing up, we shot some pool, played darts, hung out and I kept putting the beers down. I think part of me was upset for being there as a Christian, and the other part was enjoying myself a lot... like I used to. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think grabbing a drink with some friends is a bad thing, but I knew what I was getting into here and who I was hanging out with. I have lived that whole life before meeting God and know where it leads. Hmph...

So this one cute guy show up, let's call him James. I have seen him a few times before out and around the city, but never knew he was gay really. He's a short, blond guy in his early twenties with some wicked tatts and a killer body, but you would never know that side of him when you see him downtown. In a suit and tie he is all business, in a pair of basketball shorts and a tight tee, he's deadly. Long story short, completely my type. (well, one of them anyway) We started talking, flirting, whatever and finally we decided to leave and grab some coffee. Well, that was the story.

What happened was, we started making out in the parking lot, then hopped in his Jeep and kept going at it. We did go to the coffee shop, but decided we didn't want coffee just more of each other, so drove back to the bar to get my car and kept making out. He is such an awesome kisser and really knows how to punch my buttons. We took turns being in charge, so that was cool. He is just as aggressive as I am. Finally we took a break and had the talk.

Are we going to do this?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Have you been tested?

My place or yours?

After talking about it and letting our jets cool a bit, we actually decided, no, we're not going to do this, even though we really want to. We both have other guys in our lives that we care about greatly, so you go to your home and I will go home to my house. After horsing around some more, we both said goodnight like friends and I came home and crashed hard.

Why did I tell you all that? I am not sure, I just had to get it out of my head.

I think I could have really screwed up, had a great time and regretted it in so many ways later. It was obvious that we were compatible and enjoyed each others bodies a lot. A part of me is really upset that I didn't bed him though. I mean, who would it hurt? (I know the right answer, just talking out loud here) He wanted me, I wanted him, two guys just having a go at each other, right?

*Sigh*

I AM glad I didn't do it. I could try to blame it on the beer, but that is not true. I knew what I was doing. I don't need to start down that road again, sleeping around and all. Talk about a weird way to end a day, making out like teenagers in some guys Jeep. I still don't know what to think about all that. I will see him again, I am sure, but I really don't want to pursue anything. Lesson learned, I guess? I am seeing how weak I really am at times, but am also thankful that we both put the brakes on and kept it in our pants.

Now I get to talk to Michael about all this tonight. Fun, fun. :(

I am such a fool sometimes, always thinking with my cock.

I'm going to shut up now. I'll come back later.