Dear Church...

Dear Church Family,

It is hard to believe that it has been over four years since I first walked in that Sunday morning, scared to death of being rejected, but seeking truth. How time has passed and life has changed in many ways. It still seems like yesterday that I met Melissa and she started talking to me about Jesus and this place she hung out called Jacob's Well. Little did I know that those long conversations at the Broadway Cafe would bring me to such a place as this?

From those first questing and awkward conversations with Tim, came a hope and acceptance that maybe, just maybe, I had found a place where questions would be welcomed and answered and that I would not be flung into the streets as I had been so many times before. I remember speaking with him after the first service and opening up a bit about my life and the guy that I loved and was dating. I will never forget that warm smile, the crinkled eyes behind glasses, the jaunty pony tail and strong handshake when he told me that he hoped that I would, "Come and see...".

This was the first man of Faith I had ever met that simply stood evenly, side by side with me on the earth and saw inside of me the possibility of me being one of God's beautiful children. I miss him every week, but also know that God is using him mightily in New Zealand now.

Strange how time flies, huh?

After meeting God that cold January night in the chapel of St. Luke's Hospital, I remember all the bewildering thoughts and fears I had about what to do now? How the Samaritan woman at the well must have felt about her own sordid life, when Christ offered her salvation and living water. Such strange ways to say something so simple as...Hope.

I had a chance at Hope!

The way that you have taken me in over the years has been life altering and priceless. When I was hungry, you fed me. When I was naked, you clothed me. When I was thirsty, you gave me drink. When I had no where to lay my head safely at night, you provided shelter. All this you have done for me.

In all of these ways and more, you have lived Jesus to me. You have been strong and Righteous men, who showed me how to live as a man, never being scared or afraid of my difference. You have been Godly women, who have shown me that my fears of girls are simply broken and unfounded myths. In all ways, you have lived to me and for me an example of what true community is. Your arms and hearts have been open without reservation. Wow...

None of this road has been easy. There have been no questions that answers came quickly and without some pain, but through it all, you have become my family. A strong group of brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers, little children and wise older people who have decided, because of HIS love for you, that you would love me too.

I can never thank you all enough.

As time goes by and I grow, I know that I am not always easy to understand. There are times when I stray off, get confused or hurt and generally show my spiritual age in some of the poor and foolish choices I make. I am sorry if I have ever offended in my bluntness, confused in my lack of understanding or hurt someone in my clumsy attempts at loving back. Thank you for the forgiveness you always offer, as individuals and corporately. Thank you for being the community that I needed, the family I never knew I missed and the friends and soul mates that my heart longed for.

You bring music to my ears, hugs to my body, shoulders to my tears, hands to my trembling and eyes that seek to know and be known. Always a safe place I have found with you. You have been church to me in the streets, church to me in your homes, church to me where you found me. Always body, always branches, always whole.

I cannot measure this love. I cannot grasp this faith. I cannot love you back. I cannot leave this place ever unchanged, unmarked, unblessed, unfazed, unloved and unknown.

So Church...while thinking of you tonight and the picture of God's amazing grace you have been to me, a poor and lost gay guy who was just looking for some truth that night all not so long ago...I want to say thank you.

Jude 22

And some...having compassion...making a difference.

Daemon