Waking up now and sipping water as my body and brain reboots. Slept so hard last night, I did not know who, where or when I was when I woke up! Ended up finding my boxers in the kitchen, neatly folded...so yeah...I was pretty beat last night. At least I remembered to put the top up on the car before I crashed, since we got some pretty heavy rain after 11pm.
Yesterday was a day of thinking, introspection and soul searching in an informal way I guess. Nothing so profound as sitting in the lotus position and considering my belly button, but a day set apart to examine how I feel about all that is going on. Washed the car, of course, hung out with my Dad a bit in the morning talking church and how they relate to gay people and then went for a cruise into the city. Coffee shop, kite flying and hanging out with some good friends rounded out the day and I wore myself slick. I also fasted yesterday, for the first time that I can remember as a Christian. This wasn't one of those days where I forgot to eat, but rather an intentional choice on my part to simply wait on eating to think more clearly and concern myself more with heart and mind, than my body.
So needless to say, I am pretty damn hungry at the moment and woke up seriously horny too! I did not get off yesterday either, for the first time that I can remember in...I don't know? I do not remember a day where I have not rubbed one out at least once or twice. I wonder if I can make it two days, but I doubt it? My body has a pretty tight grip on my life and I am not sure how to break it or at least wrest control back. I need to stop thinking about it, cause it's waking up now and it is hungry and wants attention!
So what to do today?
I have taken five days off of work to deal with all the things going on in my life in regards to life and its complex issues and am simply enjoying the time where I do now have to be anyone other than me. I know that I am going to cook some breakfast soon, take a shower, get dressed and then...who knows? Tonight is pizza and a movie with Michael and I need some serious cuddle time on the couch. My skin is hungry, if that makes sense?
Well, that is about all that is in my brain at the moment. Have checked up on all my friends, answered my emails and messages and am now ready to start my day. I'll let you know how it goes later on, or might pop back in if something catches my mind. Today is the simple life for me...I hope. I hope!
Pax.
I think right now you get me to reflect on life more than anybody. Thank you for sharing so much of your own thoughts here. I see you took up the fasting idea, and not just food.
ReplyDeleteYou remain in my prayers, brother.
Jeff