Woke up this morning, laid there a bit, and then got my bearings pretty quick. What a whirlwind of the last few days. Got the opportunity to spend time with a good friend who is facing some challenging obstacles in his life at the moment.
While only my age, give or take a few months, he has married, started a successful business, has a beautiful son, become a widower, struggled to find himself in regards to his orientation and is now facing the prospect in the next few weeks of a kidney transplant all while complicated by another life threatening illness.
And in the face of it all, he still smiles, holds strong and steady despite the pain and offers love, hope, peace, joy to all of those around him he calls dear.
What strength and grace is this?
If I was placed in those circumstances, I do not know how I would fare. I realize that God only gives us that which we can deal with, and that all of our choices have lasting and real consequences, but as a man, I do not think I could live out and write the beautiful story of life he does each day.
He is an inspiration to me and a picture of what the amazing grace of God can do in a mans life, totally surrendered to His will. He will be gone from us this summer, and I will miss his presence, smile and comforting touch daily. I life him up in prayer and hope for his swift recovery and healing. We all need him, as much as he needs us.
Hung out all yesterday with him, just watching the movies he picked out, lounging around, talking and watching the rain come down from the front porch. I had forgotten how to just "be". The slowing down and stopping of all the activity that I pack into each day gave me some time and space to consider what is important to me and the direction my life is taking. I think in many ways, I stay incredibly busy with work, family, my relationship, friends, social activities, music, art, cars, travel and passions in order to hide from myself.
I pride myself on my introspection, but what real space for consideration to I intentionally make, besides odd pockets of time where I MUST pause and make simple decisions? I need to center myself, eliminate a few distractions and concentrate on what I really want, who I actually am, the impact I am genuinely making in those lives and loves around me. I need to live more than I am now.
Life is funny like that. The speed and momentum it picks up as days go by. I am ready to pause a bit and consider more.
Today is already getting busy, have to find a really odd and expensive tire for Michael's BMW, which decided to acquire some random chunk of metal on his way to work. Thank God he has run flats on and was able to limp into the office, though I am sure it was a major struggle keeping his German Tank under 50 miles per hour. Poor guy! It's seems to be one thing after another lately. Hoping we can make some space and time to chill out this weekend. I know and see each day what a struggle this week has been for him. God, I love that guy!
Well, it's time to get my couple miles in, work out and then hit the ground running. Just waiting for the phone calls, emails and voice messages to sync up so I know which direction to fly off in. I have much on my mind I hope to write soon. I need to re-answer a hard question about the dearth of female friends in my life, bring myself up to speed on my thoughts of the Men's Retreat, consider what I will be speaking on at the next Guy's Breakfast at church and also work my way through the direction in life I am heading this fall.
Looks to be a fun summer, if it will just GET HERE!
Ciao!
Daemon
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