Hump Day...

Well it is Wednesday (Hump Day) and I just woke up a few moments ago. It is amazing to me the resilience of the human mind and they way it can simply move thoughts and reality out of your head for sleep and then reboot them once we are awake. I got some great rest, which I desperately needed, and am ready to finish this week out. A lot on my schedule and plate at the moment, but I can and AM taking it one day at a time.

So yeah, much heavy news to contend with and a shift in perspective of life with friends and family. I am on call all day today, so it feels like a day off, with something hanging over my head called work. This kind of cracks me up, cause it mirrors how I feel about all the life events that have transpired in such a short time. I will forget all the brooding shadows for a moment and then they jump back on me when I least expect it. Like, POW! Did you forget about us?!

Going to wash the car in a bit and grab some breakie with my parents. They have been such an encouragement and source of strength these last few months and I feel so privileged to count them as some of my dearest friends and assets in life. Most guys in my circumstances (younger, gay, attached) are often estranged and cut off from family due to poor choices and lack of love and information. My heart goes out to them and wish that more families would find a way to love each other more, instead of letting society or organized religion frame their relationships.

I am sure that as time goes on my writing here will become more intentional and a purpose and theme may start emerging. I typically just jump on here and ramble about random crap, and while that is good, I think that moving into this space with some direction and idea of purpose would be a good thing for me. Each post has just been kind of a mental and emotional blurb about the constancy and immediacy of my life, but I might just like a bit more structure and framework for my thoughts. I might just be making this up as I go along, but it would sure help me find some discipline in a scattered area of my life.

Kind of like my room right now. The house is clean, everything looks swell. The gardens are blooming, the landscaping is in order, the dishes are done but my bed room...? Kind of messy in there. I have learned that how my sleeping quarters look at times, tends to reflect my current mental state. At the moment, I know I have at least 10 pairs of shoes that need to go back in their boxes, and stack of clean laundry that needs to get back into the armoir and just general tidying up that will be done as soon as I finish here. I kind of like living in a den of sorts when my life is jumbled. It kind of gives me a sense of security and makes my space feel lived in. I would say there is a certain order to the chaos and the things placed around show me what is going on in my life at the moment. I can keep it cool and dark and each night return to my little man cave to rest and sleep, like a burrowing beastie. But, I need some cleaning done in my head and heart as well, so it is time to get it all set straight. Funny thing is, I love it when my bedroom is all clean, but it still feels like a hotel room when I wake up that way...lol

Let's see, shower, room clean, car clean, cut my hair and shave and grab some clothes and cash for the day. It is beautiful and sunny and I hope this flurry of activity will help me settle my questioning and seeking heart a bit. I have much on my mind, but I am going to just let go of it for a bit and try to enjoy this little day, right in the middle of my week. I hope you will do the same.

What areas in your life need to be brought into order? Where do you find clutter at times when life is a bit overwhelming? What space do you relax in when it is all just too much to handle at the same time? I know my sloppiness drives Michael mad at times, as he strives to bring order out of chaos each and everyday, in his mind, his body and his environment. I would do well to learn from him, as he never rests each night until the whole place is in order and the next day is carefully laid out and planned. What I saw as very cute at first, is actually a great way to live. I dunno, maybe I'll start working on the order in my life a bit more. Maybe it could bring me a bit of peace?

Hope all is well with all of you. Let me know what is up, if you feel like and sign my guestbook over there to the right if ya want! Enjoy your hump day!