Hanging out with me...

Hi Daemon...it's me again. You know...you, me, we...us! How the hell you been? Kind of weird to sit here at night, winding down and chatting with friends all over the globe, in the comfort of your own home, legs kicked up and listening to tunes. You do realize how much you have to be thankful for, right? Cause if you don't, we can take a trip down memory lane...

What?! You would rather not? It might be good for us though? You do tend to forget things, the past, the times that have gone on before. So why don't we? I'll hold your hand...promise. Yeah, I know it sucks sometimes, but if we don't learn from it we are bound to repeat it. Wait...is that what we have been doing lately? I dunno, you have to answer that one! Man, your hands are cold and no I won't give you a piggy back ride. You are so freakin' weird sometimes!

We can do this in jumps, just snapshots of time, you see it, call it out. We will examine it all later, dude. Just see where this takes us...


Bike rides in the night, no where to sleep... alone. Phone calls to home. Tall tower of a hotel that you chose not to stay at for the cost, not in dollars, but in heart ache and hurt. Sleeping out, under the stars on the beach. Home there only a few paces away, but at what a price? Warm bed waiting, but not empty. Hanging at the university, jumping online, trying to find peace in the arms of strangers. How did I get here? Unknown people caring, keeping me alive, listening, respecting space. Gratefulness for clean clothes, a bed, a shave, hugs and some food. Running, always running...




Amazing Water! Prow to the wind, seas roaring and "Walk On the Ocean" blaring in your ears! Deck heaving, screaming into the storm and watching the sun break and cast the liquid into gold. What a tack and sail that was to Martha's Vineyard. Soaked to the bone, shivering with happy and loving every split second of the adventure! Blow winds, give it your damndest! Truly alive, completely present, sailing treking before the blast. Port in sight, hot chowder. Blankets wrapped, chest bumps and bone crushing hugs all around! We made it! We did it. Wooooot!





Tumbling, tossing, lost in a tangle of limbs. Where does he start, where do I end? Swooned, crazy, love starved lips. Murmurs in languages I don't understand. Lyrical Spanish for some time, other nights murmured Czech. Who are these people? How do we fit? Where are we going? What is all this? It is like a drug I cannot stop, a fix I won't leave and a passion that burns up within my bones. Amazing, giddy, childlike...lost and finding. Heaving, sleeping, groaning, gasping and now soft Russian or was tonight exclamatory German? I feel lost in my one language. Never felt like this before! What city am I in? What country is by body in? Nights in beer gardens, long walks on open, rocky roads. Lush hill sides, weary farmers wagons, smiling children, sore feet, cool streams, cresting beautiful vistas. Climbing mountains because they are there. Sharing life and limb for a wink and a smile. Lost journals, pictures given away. Heady passage for a youth so fair...






Surfacing from the deep. Creaking plates of steel, the muffled crepe soles, flimsy shorts and tshirts, that first gasp of fresh, natural, salt-laden sea air. Faces lifted to fading suns light. Furtive glances at the horizon. Comfortable silence and shared smiles. Alive still, seeking, hunting, pursuing, watching, waiting, thinking, fearing. Band of brothers in more ways than one. Shared purpose, bonded by war, unknown, unseen, unheard, silent, slipping beneath...into the deep.







Fog, fog everywhere. Sea lions roaring and clapping, Warm wool and soft cords, clad in brown leather, scarf snapping, staring, straining at the bay. City Lights, Vesuvius, Haight, Jack Kerouac and that damn book that pulled me from sleep to this City by the Bay. Shared Dewars, Bondage a-go-go, calling into work, walking hills, shopping roses, loving strangers, holding hands, talking the dialogue to a movie that played to only us. Whispered youth, fleeting time. Where does it go? Borrowed boat, bottle of port, swinging lantern and slap of water. Slipping in, naked skin, nothing ventured, everything shared. Innocence and laughter. Gone to soon, gone too soon. All over but for the song and memory.




Climbing, clipped in, thin air, bright skies, rough rock, scared, trembling, chanting, trusting, straining, upward. Never going to end, never will make it, pause, gather, press on. Up and over the top. The View! Oh, my God, the View. Tears come with wracking breath. Doubled over, squinting, panting, loving ever hurting, painful moment. Top of the world, top of the world, picture taken and cherished. Long way down...finally into the aspens we collapse. Slept for what seems like days. Woke in a tangle, simply laid, laughed, breathed, loved. Amazing, amazing...