Slept hard and deeply to the sweet tapping sounds of summer rain and my "taking a little nap" turned into being knocked out for about 10 straight hours! Man, I must have been tired? Now awake before the dawn and getting things in order for my assault on this day. So much to do, but I am confident it will get done.
Spent a bit of time outside, simply sitting and looking. I enjoy waking up to life by spending some moments in contemplation, looking out at the water, observing the animals scampering about and generally taking it all in as my eyes widen and mind sharpens. Kind of brings a bit of peace and clarity to me before the craziness of life starts in earnest.
This morning two drops of rain fell off a friendly tree onto the smooth back of my hand and the simple way that the dim light caught them turned them into liquid gold, sitting, trembling there on my skin. I sat quietly until they had both dried, and then went inside.
Hmm...need to get the coffee going, then get cleaned up. I feel pretty grungy since I did not shave yesterday. That is odd for me, but just didn't feel like it. I don't mind stubble on another guy, but on me...not so much. It feels and looks like dirt on my face, plus its pretty rough and scratchy, easy to chap skin and burn lips. Don't ask me how I know...LOL Not sure what I want to wear today. Could use some emotional armor is how I feel. Whenever I feel a bit insecure or unsure of myself, I like to dress up a bit more in order to at least appear composed. Is that strange? Think of it as textile compensation.
The AC is keeping the house nice and cool and the sound of it cycling on and off is soothing and comforting to me. Have not turned on many lights and the low darkness seems to call me back to bed, but my mind is fully awake now. I like padding around in bare feet in the cool and the dim. My eyes adjust to the shadows and everything seems peaceful as morning comes. The stone and wood is soothing to my skin, my eyes pick out the things I need without a care to the specific detail. It really makes me wonder why I must always have so much light? I like these pleasant places, this space I have made for myself. I call it home.
Not looking forward to my shots this morning, but they are a must for school. I used to have a huge phobia of needles, well, still kind of do, but have learned not to shriek and curl myself into a wailing, rocking ball, now that I am an adult, sort of. Then it is coffee shop time to write and listen to music and then over to get my test results. Not panicking yet, and prolly won't. Peace comes to me, either through self delusion, or the prayers of others.
Psalm 139 is amazing.
God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too - your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute - you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them - any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers - out of here! - all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong - then guide me on the road to eternal life.
This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute - you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them - any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers - out of here! - all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong - then guide me on the road to eternal life.
This song lately...wow! Listen to it, if you dare...if you want something more.
Been prayin for your test Daemon! Hope everything comes back ok! BTW I hate needles to. I am known to pass out just about every-time I need a blood test! :( Very embarrassing.
ReplyDelete