Choked by words

There are so many things on my mind now, but for once, I have a beautiful day to enjoy, and good health, and all the time is mine! Now to fill it with good things, but more on that in a later post. So kiddos, this is how it goes...

I am kind of struggling to find words for all the circumstances and events on my life, but am still going to try to articulate the head space and life place I find myself in.

During the course of my daily activities I read many different threads of input, from the diverse bloggers that I come in contact with, to several newspapers, books and news feeds. All to often I feel my mind is cluttered by so many different channels of input, but since I was a child I desperately hunger for input, any feedback and all that the amazing array of information this world has to offer. I rarely pass judgement on any of it, simply take it all in, process it as it comes to mind and then form my own opinions and ideas based on my reactions and thoughts.

That being said, I still haven't found what I am looking for. I keep seeking for a voice that speaks exactly to that void in my heart and mind, that questioning place that keeps me looking at the stars on cold, clear nights, and eagerly examining the faces of friends and strangers that I encounter each and every day. There are so many questions what fuel my desire for more data, but a few of them are very base and simple. What? Why? Who? You? When? How? Because? Really? Am I okay? Do you love me? Are you him? Is this it? What now?

It is this ever questioning, always questing, interrogative perspective that stimulates my internal intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual seeking. I want peace. I want love. I want to be accepted. I want to be known. I want to know.

I read a good quote today. It said, "Seek first to understand...then to be understood." All to often I get these roles reversed and I spend to much of my time, breath, words and actions on explaining, showing and demonstrating who I am.

Maybe I need to stop, pause and seek to understand first. They will not care who I am till they know that I care. I think my eyes are turned inward and my own self is blocking the view and coloring the world around me into a confusing place of conflicting opinions and view points.

I have two ears, two eyes...but only one mouth. It is time for me to shut it, and start listening. not merely hearing, but truly absorbing it all and bringing my thoughts, desires and wants into some semblance of order. I never deny myself. I never have.

Maybe some self control and discipline, self imposed would be a good thing. How 'bout I don't do everything I want, go everywhere I feel and indulge every single desire that this body and mind feels in a day. Take time to pause.

Be still in fact.

So today I will.

Cease being a Human DOing and try becoming a Human BEing.

...just breathe.