Woke up early this morning and put the events yesterday together in my head. Had rushed to church and ended up sitting in the front, next to that one girl who likes me. I did not plan on that, but it was the only spot I could find. She is nice I guess, but way too nosy. Why do females feel the need to ask so many questions? I don't think she understands that I am not interested?
Kind of got cornered by Mary after the service and she wanted to go to lunch sometime this week. She confuses me greatly at times and I can tell that Owen (her husband) is getting kind of nervous about our friendship. I don't think I will find time for her this week, as I have much on my plate and cannot afford to complicate matters even more.
Caught up with David after church and decided to get some coffee this week. I have pretty much laid it on the line with him and let him know what is going on. It does feel good to have some accountability in my life, but I still get nervous when I think about how others must perceive me and my odd state of affairs.
Went to 303 for lunch and hung out with old friends. Gene and Jeffery (owners) were glad to see me and the food was awesome, as usual. The whole gang was there and it was good to spend some time with them and get abreast of all the news I had missed. The day would have went well if I simply had gone home, but ended up out and about and at several Super Bowl parties. Bought a new lighter at Coopers, sleek, black and posh. The guy who works there is so cute and he really hooked my up on a deal. I likes it! :)
So much on my mind and I feel like crap today, but that is prolly due to the fact that I indulged myself way too much yesterday. Called Steven when things started getting out of hand, and he talked me down and out of there. Slept at home, by myself, for a change, and I feel pretty good about that decision. Now if I can just shake this headache and get to feeling better, life will be good. The more things change the more they stay the same.
Got off three times today so far. Can't get away from or rid of this lust. Just so freakin' horny all the time! It is like my whole body is hungry, straining, needing and wanting. Grrr...not good. Just thinking about it gets me going again. It always seems to be at the worst times too. I thought I had a good grip on things (no pun intended) but it seems that as time goes on, I simply need more and more to satisfy myself. Can't get enough I suppose?
I dunno, I just feel really weird today. The body is doing well and looking good, but it feels strange on the inside. Wearing my new glasses around the house today, but still not used to them. They are rather bookish looking, titanium horn rims. They are growing on me. Hmm...I need to shave to, can't seem to get used to the stubbled look, though Michael wears it well. Especially on Saturday mornings...yum!
Working later today, so need to get it all together. Might take a nap. Yeah, that sounds really good. No deep thoughts today, simply surviving again. Everything is going to be all right. I just need to start making some better decisions. Everyone is on the same page now and is aware of my status, with mixed reviews of course. I myself am not sure what I think about it, but am living it out one day at at time.
Had a long talk with Michael on Friday night, and am still processing everything that he told me. We went to dinner on the Plaza and then swung by 303 then back to his house. What an amazing time! It felt good to have him on my arm and simply kiss him on the sidewalk like normal people do. He has so much on his heart at the moment, and I need to be sensitive to all that he is feeling. I am sure it was not easy for him to open up like that. I care so much about him, and only want to see him happy. More on that later, once I get my head and heart wrapped around it. It is good to know that he feels as I do. Happy I am, but tired.
Time to stretch out for a nap, me thinks.
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