Sunny Day and Laundry

I really thought I had slept in today, as each time I woke up to the sunshine, I simply rolled over and snuggled back into the bed...but nope! When I finally rolled out of bed it was only 9 am! Guess I do have time to get all my things on the house list done, so am currently taking a break from that to put a few words here.

It is beautiful and sunny here this morning...but bitter cold. While I chatted with a friend and caught up on my news feed, I watching a few lone deer roam about the lake side searching for grub or something. Maybe they just thought the sun felt good too.

Doing laundry now...sexy right? But it is a part of life. I actually enjoy some of the domestic tasks that befall me each week, as it gives time for a pause and think. The smell of fabric softener has always been comforting to me. Reminds me of child hood somehow and the clean smell of home. Next thing to tackle will be the kitchen, not too bad and a once over of all the bathrooms. Michael has friends in from Atlanta this week and they are staying at his place. Sound like some good guys. Hope they like me?

Eh...guess what I have been mulling over is the idea that both of us each have a part of our hearts in different places, given to someone else...and that concept and reality keeps us from truly sharing completely as we should. Parts of my heart belong to God, and while he knows that and senses that, how much can he truly grasp the struggle and pull it is to be with him and with Him all at the same time? We both are surprised at how well this is all going, and while we are not looking for a problem, we also know that we are both thinkers and trying to figure out what this is all about.

I guess I am a house divided, and heart fractured, a guy dating two very different men (God and Michael)...and they are both jealous beasts. When I do give in, it is animalistic and full of raw passion, and he can perceive that the tenderness which I live out is missing in my heart and eyes. Choices to make, but how? We have decided to pause on some things, and simply be where we are at. Nothing anywhere says we have to move forward or back at any time. I dunno what I am trying to say...lol

Well, back to my tasks...will think on this and revisit it in a while...hopefully with some more clarity.