What an amazing span of time to not only grasp in my head and heart, but somehow share here. As I sit here after a fantastic meal at the end of another long day, contemplating an evening off and the coming weekend, I have peace. It has been some time since this boy's thoughts found a simple rhythm and pattern that fit well into a smile when I think of my life.
Sometimes one never knows the stress and burden we carry until, little by little, like tiny grains of sand trickling away, it lightens...and then suddenly the weight shifts drastically and it falls away and we emerge into the gleaming sunlight to smile, stretch till our joints pop, throw your arms up over your head to the sky and yawn hard. Then your legs start to tremble and your knees almost buckle cause you're flexing them so hard and your morning wood just about makes you fall over and come at the same time, cause it feels good poking hard against your jockeys and you let out a tremendous sigh, yawn and roar and think," Wow! I feel freaking awesome! I love my life...and I...kick...ass!" It's almost like passing out cause it all just feels so good to be alive! And that is when you realize...there is nothing that could make this moment any better at all.
Ever get that feeling?
Has it been lately? :)
So yeah...life is getting better. I almost titled this post "Relaxed and Horny" cause it was the first thing that popped into my head, but I really didn't think that set the tone for what I want to say here today. So yes, while I am relaxed and yes, I am always horny...I will set those thoughts aside and try to share what an amazing journey these last weeks have been for me. Don't worry kiddos...I've got my dungarees on. So let me kick back in this comfy chair and talk a bit...
So the last two days have been great, not in some kind of earth shattering, amazing events happening and planned sort of way, but more a simple succession of good choices and fearless ideas coming together to shape how I feel about me and those around me. It is kind of like waking up after a long hard sleep, unsure of where and when you are, and pausing blearily in the mirror, one hand rubbing your hair and sleep out of your eyes and the other lazily playing with that little trail of hair on your tummy. And the suddenly...whoosh! You realize, hello morning, hello me...let's go have some fun! This is what it is all about! Oh yeah...I love me! Yippppeeee!!!!
Yeah like that...when nothing was on your mind 'cept Saturday morning cartoons, a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and then playing outside all day with your friends at the lake...that kind of giddy, childlike glee that only comes when all is well with your soul.
Life is changing, spring is coming, the sap is rising and things are good.
With family there is peace and an open communication about what is happening with me right now. Dad and Mom's health is great and I am loving the time that I get to spend with them now that I live here in the same city. It is so good to catch up on all those years that I was lost in myself, focused on others and then gone in school and the Navy. We are learning all over again who we are, who we were and what we are going to be. So thankful for these precious times...so many people never get a second chance. My Dad has become such a close friend and Mom...well....she is just Mom. The rock of our family.
Career is going well and new doors are opening each and every day! Exciting news on the horizon, but I don't want to speak out of turn yet. Suffice it to say, some change is coming and I am soooo freakin' excited about it! I am not quite sure at times how to handle all this success? I am so blessed and deserve none of it...but God is good to me for some reason. I realize that with all this opportunity and abundance comes a responsibility to make wise choices. Who knows what the future holds right now?
Church, friends and community is being built into my life and I am so rich when it comes to relationships. Since when do people like me for me? It is amazing what a sincere life, lived authentically can do and how it impacts people in a real way. If you are living some kind of lie or facade for others...do your self a favor and them a turn. Be you. You might be surprised what it will take you.
So today, winding roads, bright sun and long drives around the lakes and streets of this place I call home. Took a long nap and woke up for an evening of my choosing. Got the oil changed and the car of the day is gleaming. I so love a clean car! Bought a new CD last night of a group called United Hillsong and have been rocking out to some new tunes all day. Talked to Michael this afternoon and he is doing much better. It was good to hear the smile and joy back in his voice! That dude makes me so happy! I only want to make his life full of good things.
So tonight, what is up? Not sure yet. The phone is vibrating and I'm ignoring it while I sit here and write. I am sure plans are afoot, but I am going to make good choices and do what I know is right instead of just following my nose into the city. Tomorrow morning is the Mens Breakfast and I have to be up bright and early to help cook for that. Then work all day for the 90th Anniversary Party of EB. That is going to be a blast! But I guess I won't get to lounge in bed in the sun just talking and dozing.
Hmm...so I just realized I managed to ramble here alot and never get around to telling you guys what has been up. Guess I will save that for later tonight or a spot tomorrow when I get to pause. Just know this. I am doing good and life is well. I hope where ever you are, when ever you read this, that someone somehow loves you and you can smile, knowing that yes...it is all going to be all right.
Ciao for now!
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