My body woke me up today at 3:00 am, my usual time, as if it had forgotten in some way, that today
was my second day off. I guess old habits die hard, if at all. I worked six days a week for so long that this pattern seems to be one that is sticking around for a while, so I decided to get up and begin my day.
Yesterday was a good day. I managed to sleep in until 8:00 am, after staying up till midnight, which considering my usual schedule, was incredibly late. I ran some errands early in the morning and then spent the rest of the day at home. I caught up on some reading, played piano for a while, took an afternoon nap and then spent the rest of the evening till sundown, working in the yard. I got the hedges trimmed, all the walkways edged, the flower beds and garden cleaned up and the yard mowed. It was with a good sense of accomplishment that I watched the sun go down and then promptly went to bed. But then, now that I think about it, most people, self included, do not read personal blogs in order to simply find a recounting of ones day. There is sometimes an expectation or urgency with which we look outward and for others, hoping to find that someone, anyone out there has had a common experience, or a new revelation similar to ours, that can make us feel less lonely in this amazingly huge and vast world we call life.
All kinds of thoughts swirled through my mind as I sat here to write. The question of, "Who am I?" came to mind but was quickly discarded when I pondered how enormous that question was to answer. Then my mind rambled over all the different people I have been in life. Not that I have ever been anyone different than me, but rather, all the different chapters, places, uniforms, obligations, responsibilities and labels I have worn on this journey so far. I also set that aside, as it would take numerous posts to answer. Another question that has been on my mind lately is, "What am I doing here?" and "How did we get here?". Taken either literally or metaphorically, these too are also immense questions with deep and profound implications. I am not quite sure if I am up to the task of ruminating over those in a public forum, at least not this early in the morning.
The thing is, I do have answers, for all of those questions and all the many more that drop through my mind as I sit here slowly stretching and starting up my mind. I do know who I am. I also know everyone I have been up to this very moment. I know my labels and my history. I was there. As far as for what I am doing here, I may not have some penultimate answer that spans the broad scheme of my entire life thus far,but I have a rather good grasp on what I have done and what I am trying to accomplish. As far as how we got here, I am really not worried about that one. Sure, I wonder at all the explanations and ideas offered by others as truth at different thinking times, but considering the fact that we are here, I find its endless speculation rather moot. We ARE here...so we best get along with it then, shall we?
I guess one question I cannot answer in any real certain fashion, besides the notable exception of friends, blog buddies and known faces that read here is, "Who are you?" Who are you different souls, you passersby of whim, the myriad of different people that happen along by here at different times? What are you looking for? What answers are you seeking? What about the words I have shared here at odd times has compelled you to return again? What about the single lone individuals who may have just dropped by once in a great while? Where are you and what does this all mean to you? It looks to me as if this is more than just the one question of, "Who are you?" I am okay without that answer. I will be fine without knowing the answer to all of them. There is no possible way to grasp and comprehend all of the endless stream of humanity that might stumble across this little space where I share my mind and words. But one thought remains...
For those of you I DO know, I am grateful. I have made some amazing friends and shared time, space and thoughts, battled questions and slew dragons over endless discussions of whatever I was rambling on about at the time, all because I simply started to share. Those of you I have met, or exchanged comments with, or read through your book of days, or all the varied ways we communicate in this day and age have added richness, depth and tone to my life. I am glad and thankful to you all.
Thanks for stopping by. Keep on reading if you like. Know that it all matters. See ya around soon. :)