I received a comment this morning from Max, a blog buddy, that not only educated me a bit but also made me consider my own motivations for speaking out against injustice and where that energy and voice comes from. You can check out his writing and thoughts here if you like. He has a unique perspective on life and his mind and heart move in directions that I admire and respect. http://maxjournals.blogspot.com
While I have only a few brief moments to write this morning, as my work day is starting earlier and running later, I was able to consider it and have come up with a partial short answer.
One of the reasons that I speak out loudly and often at the social injustice, discrimination and lack of freedom and civil liberties on behalf of the LGBT community is my own personal pain. While I grew up in a more progressive family than most and have had the support and friends and community in my own life journey, there still is a lot of trauma, hurt and confusion that I have experienced personally from people in authority, spiritual leaders, institutions, places of education, peers and strangers. I tend to downplay the negative and live with my optimistic outlook on life, but the truth is, I too have personally suffered for my identity. To spare even one young person growing up this experience or to help by sharing in the struggle and promising the hope I know to exist, I sincerely hope that my voice is not simply fading quietly into the night.
I speak out...out of my pain.
This is not the most healthy platform, I realize, and does not come from a place of strength and grace, but it is what it is, at the moment. I do not want to be a voice of pain struggling against what I see as wrong and believe to be harmful to myself and others. There are other places that I can speak from that will reap far better communication and results. I will need to learn to make peace with my past and present. Somehow the grief and agony that I carry with me will need to be laid to rest.
For now, I speak out of my pain.
I hope one day to speak out from a space far different.