Monday, May 6, 2013
I wonder what the world looks like to you? This question can be taken literally or also metaphorically, however you may wish. There is nothing really deep and profound in my mind at the moment but this question popped into my head. It sprang from a quiet settled place as I realized something that I was missing.
What is absent in my life is the craving, the desire, the burning quest for more. More of what, you may ask? More of anything. Sure, there are experiences, places, unmet people and a myriad of things I still hope and long for. I work each day to not only provide for my current needs but also to set aside resources for future times and plans. What I mean by missing the need for more is simply that I am content.
I woke up today relishing the possibility of a day off of work. I would love to have a traditional weekend of two days free from obligation and did get to enjoy that for a month or so, but I am thankful for even this one day. I took a shower, shaved closely and dressed comfortably for a day of leisure and I did miss the body I once had and took for granted at eighteen years old. It didn't tire quite as easy, have the odd aches and pains that accompany time and use or look quite as normal as this one does but I like who I am and what I look like. I could put more effort and thought into getting into even better shape, but the desire to enjoy my time and other things often over rides the drive I used to have to devote hours to swimming, running and lifting. I wouldn't call this complacency or apathy, but realistically, we all change as we grow older. This is what I live in and it pretty much fits the mind's eye view of who I am. I've also learned that broad shoulders, a deep chest and long limbs hides well a multitude of languidness.
There were times in my past when every waking moment was spent looking, searching, questing, working and worrying over the "what next". My curiosity about this world, the people in it and the search for more information, truth and experience has never waned, but rather it has been balanced by the fact and idea that who I am, what I have, what I am doing and where I am at, is a good thing. When I wake up on a day off and realize there is nothing that I need to purchase, no person I must see, no experience I crave, no place I must get my body to, in order to be happy then I think I have found something truly precious. (though I did walk to the store to get some milk for my coffee, because while I do not need it, I really like it)
This is who I am. This is where I am at. This is what I have. I am who I have become.
And I am rather thrilled about that. :)
at May 06, 2013