Monday, April 29, 2013


Getting outside

The birds outside my window this morning sound like they have been binging on freshly picked Guatemalan coffee beans. While I got to bed a bit later than usual last evening, I still find myself awakened by my body's natural rhythm long before sunrise. I do love early mornings, especially those unhampered by the traditional schedule of work and obligation. The moon was still shining brightly as I took out the trash, collected my newspaper and took a moments pause to stretch and enjoy the slowly lightening deep blue sky. When I stretched, I felt my back pop and crackle comfortably after a good nights sleep and I knew deep down inside that today was going to be a great day.

My coffee is made and I am working leisurely on my second cup. My thoughts have turned towards how to fill this day and a simple to do list has come to mind of things that I will enjoy. The weather forecast looks to be amazing, slight South Westerly breezes, fair skies, plenty of sunshine and a high of 80 degrees. Absolutely fantastic!

Today's plan of the day will include: Watch the sunrise. Wash my car. Put the top down and take a long drive around the lake. Sit on the dock and read in the sunshine. Have a breakfast picnic. Fly my kite. Write in journal. Take some pictures. Have lunch with my friends. Relax at Broadway Cafe. Take a walk in the city. Mow my yard and clean out the remaining flower beds. Eat dinner. Watch the sunset. Go to bed. In short, I plan to spend the entire day out of doors.

There is not much more on my mind but that, at the moment. My life is simple. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A sitting spell

 A cold and wet industrious day of tasks. A quiet, simple song for this evening to unwind to. I wonder where all the wandering angels will sleep tonight. Daydreaming and musing of another time and place. Maybe this is how nostalgia sets in, like a quiet, creeping fog that drifts in from years past. There still is a warmth deep inside that keeps the fire of remembered hope alive, a hot buried ember of mind pictures, brilliant sharding sunlight and tumbling smile faces that swirl like a carousel in my heart.

Melancholy, where have you been, my sometimes two times friend? Let's walk and talk for a while. My ears have been missing your footsteps and that soft, leathered grip of your familiar hand. Under the shroud of street lights and near quieted lanes let the whispered wind curl at the nape of our necks while we look and nod solemnly at each other with slow understanding. Those circles are a bit deeper under your eyes these days. That haunted look is fading now, like a winter bruise, but I can still see the glimmer of a solitary flame that looks aft miles away then flickers. You sure don't come around these parts much day when. I hope wherever you live most times you find yourself as welcome as here.

Spring is coming soon,  Ol' Mel. Don't get you too far. I will have need of thee.


Monday, April 22, 2013


“Untitled” 2013

Collaboration between Kyle Thompson Photography and Nicholas Scarpinato, in an effort to combine two common themes in our work.

Goodbye and Hello!

Two days off of work and I am about to head off on a road trip to Iowa on the continuing hunt for my next car. I have looked at over 15 different cars in this past month and am really hoping that this one is THE ONE. I could bore you will all the details, specs and information about it, but I will save you the headache and confusion it would cause. Suffice it to say, it is another classic Miata, low miles, one owner and looks to be in perfect shape. This one is  Classic Red, just like my first one, but with a tan top and leather interior. It really is a combination of my last two Miatas with the red exterior of the first but the tan interior of my British Racing Green one that I lost to a wreck, almost exactly one month ago to the day.

It is hard to define why I love these little old cars so much except that they are the best driving experience I have had and are an asset to my life in so many ways. I sometimes get shit from people about driving a little "gay" car or a "girls" car, but that just lets me know they have never dropped the top on one, strapped themselves in and tackled some serious back wood hills curves on a spirited drive. I drove Mustangs for years (kept my first one), switched to Wranglers for a while and then fell in love with these little driving machines. They are the best thing to a legal go kart on the street and somehow they just fit me. I am glad that is the case because you practically wear them! :)

The sun is out, It looks to be a beautiful Spring day and I am excited to be taking a road trip to possibly add my next kid to my collection of cars. I figured I would post a couple pictures of my last two in homage and memory of the wonderful miles of smiles they brought me. They both will be sorely missed but I will never regret the amazing times and drives we had.

Wherever you may be, Happy Monday! I've got my lucky boxer briefs, jeans, t-shirt, flannel, hat and Pumas on today. I hope to be back later with great news!


Thursday, April 18, 2013


Life is beautiful and amazing.

People miss this every day. I forget it moment by moment it seems.

 In the most still of times, captured in all of the fantastic beauty of nature around us, encompassed in the existence of life itself, surrounded by stirring and beautiful music or just in the quiet silence of it all that finds us, never ever forget this.

So rich, abundant, precious and fleeting this human experience is.

We have this one life.

Stop and look around. Listen, smell, taste and feel. We are all so very blessed.

I wish I had the eloquent words to impart what I see and feel in this moment. This is the most simple of entries, using humble and quiet words, but I mean every single thought.

Start living.

Hug the sky.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

This is what Hope sounds like.

MPs and people watching in the gallery of New Zealand's parliament broke into spontaneous song on Wednesday, following the passage of historic gay marriage legislation.

New Zealand became the 13th nation in the world to legalise same-sex weddings after MPs voted 77 to 44 in favour of the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill.

After the vote count was announced, the House of Representatives in Wellington was filled with the sound of the New Zealand love song "Pokarekare Ana" - in the indigenous Maori language.

As the parliamentary debate wound up, Louisa Wall, the sponsorer of the bill, told colleagues the change was "our road toward healing."

"In our society, the meaning of marriage is universal – it's a declaration of love and commitment to a special person," she said.

She added: "Nothing could make me more proud to be a New Zealander than passing this bill."

The singing legislators and members of public inside the parliament were joined by hundreds of jubilant gay-rights advocates who celebrated outside.

New Zealand legalised civil unions for gay couples in 2005. Under the law passed today same-sex couples will be allowed to adopt children for the first time.

New Zealand joins Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden and Uruguay in having legalised gay marriage.

Last week the French Senate approved a Bill that brought same-sex marriage a significant step closer. In the UK gay marriage legislation is currently making its way through parliament.

'Pokarekare Ana' Lyrics

The waves are breaking, against the shores of Waiapu, My heart is aching, for your return my love.

Oh my beloved, come back to me, my heart is breaking for of love for you.

I have written you a letter, and enclosed with it my ring, If your people should see it, then the trouble will begin.

Oh girl, come back to me, my heart is breaking for of love for you.

My poor pen is broken, my paper is spent, But my love for you endures, and remains forever more.

Oh my beloved, come back to me, my heart is breaking for of love for you.

The sun's hot sheen, won't scorch my love, Being kept evergreen, by the falling of my tears.

Oh girl, Come back to me, I could die of love for you.

I couldn't help but weep and smile when song broke out in the gallery and on the floor.

Someday, somehow may this hope be extended to all of us in this country in such a fashion. Unlock the doors! Well done, New Zealand. 

Bless them.


Citizen Filibuster: Sheer Genius

Patton Oswalt guest stars as another Pawnee crackpot who gets upset at Leslie's proposal to eliminate some of the more outdated/racist/sexist laws on the town charter. Taking advantage of the laws still on the books, he launches into a citizen filibuster discussing his proposal for the J.J. Abrams-directed "Star Wars" sequel, which somehow turns into a "Star Wars"/Marvel Comics mash-up halfway through.

Damn. :)


Rain song

Piano plays softly and poignantly in the background as a strong Spring storm moves in over the trees. Fog obscures the houses near and far and casts the even gray light into a soothing shroud.

I watch here and listen to them both play together. Tap, tap, tapping on the roof, sliding sinuously down the window panes and dot, dot, dotting the fresh dirt and growing newly green grass. Water flows by down the street and chuckles in the gutters. All is at peace and I simply sit.

And breathe.

Sometimes it is nice to simply stop.

To pause.

To watch.

To be.

And so I shall.


Monday, April 15, 2013

A Pause

I am going to step away and go play piano for a while. Enjoy this as you like.


For Fuck's Sake!

Good morning. I am pissed off and mad and that is probably not the best state to be in while writing,
but I have used my blog more than once to process and vent my frustrations and emotions so I see no reason to not continue to do so. I am not going to be able to articulate myself well but I will attempt to do my best.

You know what? Fuck it.

I am not going to waste any more of my words trying to explain again for the umpteenth time the lack of logic and reasoning exhibited by religious people. My frustration right now is with people of faith in the LGBT community who keep supporting theology and organizations that actively work against their humanity, equality and rights as a citizen of this country. Their beliefs and the education/indoctrination they have chosen to accept for varying reasons makes them an accomplice in the suppression, persecution, abuse and destruction of others like themselves.

"Uncle Tom" is not too strong of a word to use for their ilk. The friend of my enemy is my enemy.

To cut myself short and bring you up to speed on my mental and emotional state, feel free to read these articles.

Does Jesus Really Love Me : NY Times

Why Straddling the Fence on LGBT Issues Doesn’t Work: Andrew Marin’s Response to Dan Savage

Current conversation at the GCN Forum

I realize that all this noise and argument is a waste of my time and resources, but I cannot help but feel infuriated and saddened by people's responses. People who should know better.

Religion, at its very heart, is the greatest evil of humanity.

Time for some coffee and relaxing. I will come back later when I feel more myself.


PS: The Problem of Luke warm

This is a great article that was shared by DJ Free in the comments below. This so eloquently states some of the more subtle points that I lack the eloquence to express.

Saturday, April 13, 2013


As I sit here and think about my day, I realize I have gotten out of the habit of writing. There could be all kinds of different reasons for this but the fact remains I have lost touch with my inner voice. It is not that I narrate my days to myself but the times of pause and reflection that used to come so easily just have eluded being captured. I guess in some ways, for a season, my mind was a bit closed off to the idea of sharing my rumination with the world at large coupled with the fact that my life has been incredibly simple the first few months of this year.

Today was a busy day at work, but the pace of customers, training of new employees, the usual paperwork and other things required of me never reached a maddening frenetic pace. I have one more busy day this weekend to finish and then two whole days off are mine. I am rather looking forward to that, though with the bettering of the weather each day, I am solely missing having a convertible in the stable. Not to fret though, I have been scouring the five state region looking each day for the perfect car to play with. I have always been particular about what I choose to buy and invest in, but this time I can be honest and say I am down right picky. I guess as I get older, I am less willing to compromise when finding exactly what I want and like. Trying to replace a favorite car is near impossible so I am attempting to find my new favorite. Those words don't even quite describe it, as I have loved all my different cars but it will have to suffice. I can also cross BMW (Z3/Z4) and Porsche (Boxter) convertibles off the list right now, as the ones that I can afford simply are not up to my standards and those that I long for are WAY out of the budget! (BMW Z8 and Porsche 356 or 911) Not that I didn't enjoy the hell out of the test drives. *enormous grin)

I came home today from work, pulled into the driveway and on the way into the house, I think Spring might have bit me and hard! I looked over at my front plant and flower garden that spans the entryway, frames the fireplace and follows the sidewalk and and decided right NOW was the time to clean it out and make it look new. I literally did not get in the front door. Right then and there, with my chef clothes still on, I went out to my shed, got my gardening tools and made that space right. So many plants were coming up anew under the thick layer of leafy mulch I had spread last fall. The first corms of hostas were poking up. The hibiscus had already grown and was in bloom and all the little perennials were waking up in the new warmth and peeking above ground as they do. It felt so good to get my hands back in the dirt, carefully clean out around the plants, rearrange the decorative rocks, water and feed each plant in and enjoy the sunshine for an hour or so. I must have looked like a mad man in a white coat gardening but damn! Everything is coming back to life! Everything smells and looks so alive! Just breath it all in. Shut your eyes. Turn your face to the sun. Smile.

Spring is here. New life is returning. Soon the long days of warm and blue skies will be upon us. I can hardly wait! It feels good to be talking here again. Hope you all are well.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Sunday Morn

Just grabbed a few moments to put a few thoughts down before I head to work this morning. Looks to
be a busy day. I have a full hotel to feed, two CMSU sports team with their own breakfasts and a wedding party to corral and feed during their gift unwrapping party. The to do list in my head is growing.

I long for the long, slow, quiet Sunday mornings I used to have. The puttering around in the mornings, watching the sun rise, slowly waking up, choosing some comfortable clothes for the day and then driving into the city to sit at my coffee shop and watch the world wake up around me. Sitting there, listening to music, sipping a Red Eye and talking to friends usually ended and started my week in a great fashion. I am not sure when those days will return.

So I sit here and drink my coffee in silence, planning my schedule of tasks and wondering when I will get to be back outside to enjoy this amazing Spring weather that has finally arrived. Everything changes with time, I realize. I sure do miss my little sports car on a day like this, but I know the next one is right around the corner. I have the money, now I just need to find the car. Hope you all are well. Happy Sunday!


Friday, April 5, 2013

So God made a Farmer?

If you happened to enjoy the "So God made a Farmer" commercial that played during the Superbowl this year, then I think you certainly will like this parody. Just a laugh for you all.


Monday, April 1, 2013


Along for the ride

It has been a while since I have read anything challenging. You know what I am talking about. Someone out there who puts thoughts and words on paper that just grab your eyeballs, yanks your neck towards to screen and pours like acid into your brain, all while generating questions, informing you and making you re-examine your own perception and fundamental acceptance of life as you know it.

I have to confess, it has been a while since I wrote anything here that I would find challenging to myself. I know that life has different seasons and rhythms, the patterns that we all fall into with our schedules, work and social activities have a way of lulling into a certain sort of mental complacency. While this at times might be comfortable and soothing, it is the times of self discovery, or the seeing of the "other" that can fracture that thin shell of normalcy and open our eyes and minds to something completely different or formerly unknown to us.

Something I realized at the moment, is that I am speaking on the collective tense while actually, to be more accurate and polite, I should relate these words and thoughts to myself individually. Perhaps you are all living on the scintillating edge of discovery each and every day and find your lives too full of new possibility to search out the unknown, confusing, mysterious and noisome spectacle that is occurring all around us at every single moment of our existence. I find that a bit improbable, but I can accept that possibility.

At times, it a movie that can grip us. A story told in words, pictures and music that moves us and make us rethink our world view, examine our own choices and imagine the possibility of circumstances, lives and concepts completely out the frame of our own limited experiences. For me, I find these mini-epiphanies movies, in books, while listening to new music, in nature out of doors while exploring or camping and in the daily activities that I turn to while not working or being engaged with people. I would say, by and large, that they are events that happen when I am by myself. Maybe in the silence that is created in the absence of others, a space is hollowed out to let me truly hear myself and authentically hear the "other".

My life is changing again. Somewhat more rapidly than I am comfortable with, but isn't that always the case? All growth brings with it some type of pain. While the largest event initially may seem to be the car wreck of last week, looking back over the last year has shown me that I am undergoing another sort of metamorphosis into the next chapters of my story. My priorities are changing. I can see my social groups becoming different as my interests move over the vast sea of choices that is available to us. The names, faces, phone numbers, activities and places I spend my time and effort and once again shifting. Over the course of my life, I have become used to this rising and falling of tides. I cannot begin to list here quickly all the different versions of me that have come and gone in different spaces and places. Looking back it all seems incredibly too much to have packed into my relatively short life thus far, but I would not change one day of it. All of those life experiences, relationships, discoveries, travels and endeavors have made me into the complex though simply motivated person that I am today. I think the largest difference that I notice these days is that I am no longer trying to hold onto my past and force today to be in some way similar to the ones that have past. A dear friend once put it best in an old worn post card that he mailed to me from another coast and ocean in this world. He wrote,"Be as a hollow reed on the shore of that just tossed upon pond and let your life flow through you, like the wind."

I am slowly beginning to understand what he meant on that day, so long ago. I still have that postcard. I still have everything ever written to me.

These are all just rumination and thoughts in my head at the moment while I listen to some beautiful music as the sun sets over the trees to the West. It has been a while since I considered myself. It is a good habit to be in. I am looking at two days off of work and I have decided I will fill them with the things that I love and enjoy. They will be solitary days. I will read, play piano, listen to music, spend time out of doors, walk, drink coffee and watch the people pass me by. I think I am trying to tell myself something. I sense it. I just need to become quiet enough to listen and to hear. I'll be in touch.


An Honest Cable Company:NSFW

Finally, a cable and internet provider company that tells the truth.


PS: This was my 800th post here at Icarus Always. A milestone...of sorts? :P