Monday, December 10, 2012

Up and at 'em

This morning I slept in for a bit. Today is my day off this week and I woke up refreshed and feeling much more of my usual self, however that is measured in my head. I feel good I guess is what I am trying to say. I made my coffee, hopped in the shower and am ready to tackle the things on my to-do list today.

First and foremost is putting up my Christmas tree, decorating the house and starting on my Christmas shopping for my family and the few friends I do exchange gifts with each year. With the cold snap that hit us here in the Midwest last night and today, it finally feels like the holiday season is here. I am not one of those people who can just snap from Thanksgiving to Christmas in a few short days so I tend to wait each year until the spirit and mood hits me. I am happy to report that it is now here. :)

It is cold and quiet outside. Jesse's dog barked his usual hello to me when I went out to retrieve my papers. I am not yet ready to cook some breakfast so I grabbed a few moments to sit and write my thoughts as they pop into my head.

Even with all that is on my heart with recent events, I am not and have never been a person to stay down or upset about events and circumstances in my life. It could be some fundamental flaw in the way that I process emotion possibly, but as my friend Liberty would say, "Shit just don't stick to me." I know that may sound rather crude, but it sums it up rather nicely. No matter my lot in life at the moment or incidents that may occur, in the end, I usually regain my composure and find my happy back sooner rather than later.

It is not that I do not grieve or mourn. I feel things incredibly deeply, sometimes so much so that I refrain from sharing my own emotions and thoughts with others for fear of being thought as childish or emotionally immature. I am learning this reservation is all for naught as a listening ear and comforting words from others do help me and those who truly care for me don't mind the fact that many times I can be an overgrown kid at heart. Maybe it is this very mindset, as a child, that helps restore balance and peace to me internally much sooner than I observe in my own family and peers. There is too much amazing life, beauty and happiness in this world for me to sit around down in the dumps and bemoaning the less than cheerful or enjoyable parts of life.  Returning to a balanced state does not make light or pass over the real loss we all experience and feel. The bitter makes the sweet.

So today, the smile on my face is not forced. The joy and thankfulness for the many people, things and opportunities I have each day is not feigned. Life really is fantastic, come what may. I have done far more and enjoyed other times in my life with so much less. I am truly blessed and am grateful for each and every day and person I get to share it with. Thanks for caring enough to read here. I hope today you find the start or even more of your own Christmas spirit and begin to share it and give to others in your own way. We are all in this together.


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