Monday, December 3, 2012
Welcome to my boring life
I would have to say, at this point in time, my life would appear boring and quiet to others. In comparison to other chapters in my life, I would say that might very well be true. I have no drama to speak of. Nothing in current events or social circles really has me engaged, elated or upset and I am going about my own life without the benefit or need or some commenting and admiring audience. I do use Facebook to keep in touch with my circle of friends who are actually involved in my life. A basic rule I have kept there is, if I cannot physically touch you, I cannot add you as a friend (except for a few amazing people, such as Joe Conrad). I don't need some huge number of random acquaintances, past or present, to bolster my self esteem or proclaim my thoughts and daily activities to. I don't belittle people who do seem to connect with every random person who comes across their reality, but in the end, those aren't your friends. If people don't have the time to engage with me and participate in my life on a weekly basis, then they really have no business knowing what I am up to. (the reality is, not all that much) It all seems like some kind of attention seeking, voyeuristic plea for attention, validation and approval. I like what a fellow blogger called those long lists of names who have no idea who you really are; "friendshits". That made me laugh, but I have to admit the humor is rooted in reality.
There have been other times in my life where things have been tumultuous, uncertain, incredibly busy and possibly more interesting to those who come across my blog or other forms of contact. Many of them have even been documented here, much to my chagrin while perusing back through past posts. I leave them intact though, as I do my journals, as they do capture who I was at the time and the struggles, challenges and life circumstances I was facing at the time. We all change and sometimes it is best to not forget where we have come from, who we have been and how we are becoming who we are now.
People, especially strangers or those not emotionally connected to oneself, seem to thrive on the vicarious thrill of peeping into other's lives. The comparison, contrasting, self evaluation and judging ourselves by others seems to be a natural byproduct of society and social groups, at least here in this media and consumer driven country. I only know this, because I have found myself guilty of the same. In fact, most often the flaws I find in others are only apparent because I know them intimately and personally myself.
Maybe that is what I have been trying to say all along this morning. I only know others as well as I know myself. We all have many things in common in this human journey but there also is a huge and amazing amount of diversity, perspective and experience that we are all discovering and living out each day. I can't say that how we share this, in our own way with others, is a bad thing at all. I know that how we do so and the things we decide to share can help us as well as the others we choose to come in contact with.
So my life is "boring" now? I can certainly say it is peaceful. I work hard almost every single day of the week. I spend my little free time with family and friends. I don't yearn or long for things I once had or strive each day to fill some inner void I know has existed in the past. I know who I am and find contentment and satisfaction in my simple life. I know it will not always remain so, as everything changes with time. For now ,I will enjoy it. I think seasons like this rarely come about the older that we get. I find myself spending more time with myself and less time peering in at the lives of others, especially those who are shouting loudly about it. I care less and less each day about what others think or imagine to be important, singularly or collectively. Religion, politics, sports, entertainment...it is all just a distraction to me. How people lose their entire lives and personalities into exterior spaces certainly baffles me. I guess it distracts them from themselves and allows them to connect to other people without ever having to actually get to know those people or feel anything.
Maybe the things we find so intriguing about others reveal more about ourselves than those we are watching?