Thursday, December 9, 2010

Sex, Sex, Sex: Part One

This post is NOT going to be some sordid story about getting laid or a collection of verbal porn, ripped from my life and displayed in front of the world as some kind of visceral trophy. It is simply about sex.

Over at GCN ( we have been having a discussion about "casual sex" that I started in hopes of finding out others opinions on the matter. Needless to say, it has been quite interesting. Peoples morals and belief systems seemed to be tied quite closely to how they perceive and practice in their own personal lives.

Now, I am in the middle of getting ready for work, so do not have a huge amount of time, but at least wanted to bookmark the idea for myself to come back to. What do I think about sex? What does it mean to me in life, in the context of a relationship and out of it? I am learning quickly that much lore about sex from others is something learned and taught, a set of adopted values, rather than an experiential and authentic view of it, based on that persons own personal experiences.

Sex is always pretty much in my head, on my brain, right behind my eyes and throwing all kinds of chemicals through my body. It is definitely up there on my priorities in life. I like sex, eating, sleeping, recreation, friends and family, not necessarily in that order, but in some kind of fashion there of. Please do not think I am ignoring love and all the amazing things that come with relationship, I simply only have a few moments to jot a few things down before I hit the shower and start my day. Man...I love coffee!

I will be grabbing some time later to write about this topic. Sex as I see it and have lived it. I am sure that many will not agree with me, but I do not want to simply regurgitate something that was handed to me, nor do I want to write my experiences on others, like some type of emotional transference. I do see it as a basic need in my life. It may be the way I am chemically hard wired, but sexual interaction with my own body and others is something I enjoy and that completes how I view myself as an emotionally and physically stable and happy human. When not in a relationship or having sex with a friend, I jack off usually at least 2-3 times a day, as I need it and find time with such a crazy schedule. I am not saying that is "right" or "wrong" merely stating that at least a few orgasms a day keeps me on an even keel and a smile on my face instead of a teeth bared snarl. I kind of start feeling that thing swinging heavy between my legs and start hunting if I do not.

So I will get back here and start putting some of my thoughts down, once I get a space in the day hopefully to do so. :)



  1. "I jack off usually at least 2-3 times a day, as I need it..."

    Are you still 15 yrs old? Come on (excuse the pun), you aren't Tiger Woods!!

    Seriously, dude, you might have a problem. Maybe there really is such a thing as sex addiction...

    Most guys, especially those who have reached their 30s, don't feel a need to stimulate their dicks 2-3 times a day. It just ain't normal.

  2. I think that is an interesting opinion but also very close minded. A high sex drive is not "normal" to you. I think you may need to re-evaluate your narrow world view. Thanks for the input! :)


  3. "What do I think about sex? What does it mean to me in life, in the context of a relationship and out of it? I am learning quickly that much lore about sex from others is something learned and taught, a set of adopted values, rather than an experiential and authentic view of it, based on that persons own personal experiences."

    I'd like to ask: what authority does one person's experience hold for the use and pleasure of sexuality? Should the way someone uses, experiences, and enjoys sex be solely based on how they feel they should be able to use, experience and enjoy it?
    What that implies, is that there is no context that couldn't work. There is no boundaries for one to safely seek sexual pleasure. If it's based on someone's own experience, then in whatever way they choose to experience sex, is an adequate avenue of expressing that desire...

    I'll get to the point... I'm also just trying to flesh that out for my own brain :)

    If what you think about sex is based on what you want sex to be, and based on your own experience, you neglect the point of it all: God invented it. It was his idea. He set it up to be pleasurable and GOOD. He set it up as a means of bonding 2 souls into one being... For the rest of their lives.

    If all sex is to you is whatever your body enjoys the most, and you neglect the safety and boundaries that God set up for sexuality, you aren't just living in sexual deviance. You're destroying your soul.
    Sexual sin is never stationary. It will always push you further, egging you on, until you are consumed by sex in unhealthy contexts, which are in complete contrast to the inventor's design... and can we really say we know how to do it better than God?

    Just some food for thought. I love you bro. I disagree with you, but I love you.
    Coffee in a couple weeks?

  4. Dear Diakonos:

    I'd love to overhear you speaking with Jacob and David about their soul-destroying sexual deviance in having multiple wives and concubines besides.

    While I understand what you are driving at with your point that God invented sex, and the healthiness of good boundaries, I believe that it isn't easy to simply transport ancient, patriarchal Hebrew culture regarding sex and marriage into today's world. Our patterns of dating, courtship, engagement and marriage -- not to mention female equality -- would seem strange to them.

    While God is the inventor of sex (and of all human life), there are books of the bible like Proverbs and Ecclesiastes which precisely use human experience as a guide for life. That's what wisdom literature is all about.

    Granted that prophets and apostles were inspired in their own way -- and had personal experiences of God's message rising up in their hearts and minds -- but we also have experiences of God in our midst.

    The bible does provide a general guideline of loving one's neighbor and loving God above all. And adultery is frowned upon. And "chambering" (bed-hopping) is frowned upon. But I don't think those concubine-possessing patriarchs would be nearly as sure as you that they knew everything about sex and human relationships. And the (unmarried) couple in the Song of Solomon seem to have known each others' bodies fairly well.

    I won't say whether our brother Daemon has been perfectly right or wrong in all his sexual journey. We all have journeys, no? But from reading his posts, I believe he is honorable, authentic, thoughtful, and caring. He doesn't strike me as one who would simply use others, take advantage of them, and throw them away. If anything, he is a man who cares -- a lot.

    I can probably learn a thing or two about sex and relationships from him. I'm grateful he is writing this blog.

    Kind regards,
    michael e

  5. Hey dude.

    I'm working on a response for you, but I'm taking my time. I want it to be a proper & well reasoned one.

    Maybe i should just blog one and link it for you. What do you think?

    Talk to you soon.


    P.S. Did you get the package yet?

  6. The package has been received! Much thanks! :)