Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Hungry Eyes

A night time top down drive. Cool breezes. A found and lost CD from this summer playing tunes from a time forgotten and never returned. Watching the guys go by. Ordering a beer and sipping it slowly. Remembering what it is like to be outside, under canvas, with the familiar smells and sounds wafting by. This must be Spring.

Shorts on my legs, kicks on my feet and a t-shirt well worn with memories and soft cotton embrace. To be comfortable in ones own skin and an easy smile on my face. I am shrugging off the cares and worries of Winter's embrace and am ready so for the times of warmth and happy.

The phone rings, words exchanged in easy banter and sand volleyball exchange of words. Drove my docks for fishing, woods for roaming, water for swimming and shared it all with friends. I am finding my place and space in a void left by the words I am leaving unsaid. For once in my life, I am the seldom spoken one. I think first and then realize what I am about to voice feels better in the space of my head and less so in the quiet that time and smiles efface.

Can I be a quiet soul? Will this new found respect for the path less spoken by bring me to a new destination? I know, as of late, my words have been few and far between. Now I watch and wait. Look and listen. Ponder more and embrace the silence that I can create by not saying what pops to mind and tongue.

The thing that will not quiet or hush is the searching and longing for "him". Hungry eyes, needful heart. Is it him? For tonight, for tomorrow, for more that just a few shared moments? I think, even with this multitude of friends and family always around that I am becoming lonely. Maybe I have been for a while? What do I need? Who do I want? What is this vacuum of needful things that beckons me? Is this new found friend the one? A one?

What completes me? Who is the end of the equation that brings contentment to my face?

So I watch...and wait.

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