Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Guest Post: Liberty

Morning all.

My friend, Liberty, whom I consider a little brother, sent this note to many of us this morning expressing his feelings and position on the current inequities in this country as expressed by yesterday's vote in North Carolina to write discrimination directly into their state Constitution regarding LGBT marriage. I feel his words speak for himself greater than I ever could, so I share them here.

"I've been pretty silent about the whole gay marriage debate, and all gay issues for that matter, since coming out almost 9 years ago. Never really thought it was much of an issue for myself. But now that I am getting older, I am starting to see friends getting hitched with people they love and I cannot help but to stop and think that as of right now, that will never be me. 

I will never be able to share my life entirely with the person I love the same way that my parents did together. I cannot understand what the fuck is so wrong with two people of the same sex being together. We have celebrities who made the 5 hour marriage famous. We have married heterosexuals who constantly cheat behind each others backs. We have people who go through a dozen marriages in their lives. We can go to Vegas, spend 24 hours drinking heavily, drive through a building and get married while never leaving the car... and all of this... All of that bullshit that goes against the sanctity -the meat and potatoes- of marriage is completely legal if you are straight.

I want to live my life as I see fit. And I want to be happy and free to express my interests and my love with whomever I want. My parents named me Liberty because they loved their freedom to do whatever they wanted in this country. Their love for their freedom was and still is larger than life. Its pretty damn ironic that I can't do the same when they chose my name for that very reason.

And to think that I can't go a week without someone telling me that 'the only difference between hetero and homosexual marriage is who I sleep with'. To those that tell me that, go fuck yourself. Watch the video that I posted a short while ago and you will see why you are so embarrassingly incorrect. 

"But you chose to be gay. And because of that choice, you don't need to have gay marriage. just find a woman to love and enjoy life together." Yeah... I hear this one often as well. Do you really believe that someone with this supposed free will your 'God' granted all of us would choose to live a life full of dead ends and broken dreams? Did your 'God' not tell you to treat one another as you would want to be treated? I chose to be gay the same day you chose not to be. I didn't, however, choose the harassment, the beating I received or the discrimination in the job market. There was also no influence in my 'decision' to like men. I spent the first 12 years of my life going to private catholic and Jesuit schools where I was surrounded with the Christian beliefs that homosexuality is a sin. If anything, don't you think surroundings like these would have steered me clear of the gay train? Hell, for that matter, don't you at least think that I would have grown up to be a religious man? Well, I'm not. In fact, it is the very teachings I was taught in school that made me develop a total disgust in religion... Well, all but my own religion. 

I practice self religion. It's where I don't follow a God. I follow myself. I do what I believe to be right for me and for the people around me that I influence. I do not steal, I do not murder, and I love everyone no matter what race, creed or sex. If religion was not around tomorrow, guess what? Gay marriage wouldn't be an issue. I find it so damned funny when a Catholic tells me that their religion is being oppressed and yet, their religion single handedly banned gay marriage in 41 (or is it 42 now?) states. Yea, oppressed my ass. 

I am nobody special. Just like in the grand scheme of things, nobody on this planet is special. We are all human and we are all equal. I just don't quite understand why some people in our government think that 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' only applies to some people during some circumstances. Its not like gay is a new trend that popped up overnight like the frozen yogurt craze. Gays have been around since the dawn of time. Hell, ancient Egyptians have homosexual acts depicted in their drawings. The only reason its becoming more and more of an issue is that people are feeling more and more safe about coming out about it. Just like equal rights for blacks and women became law, gay rights will too. Its just a matter of time. I just hope - and dream - that that time will be in my lifetime.



  1. Does your guest commenter believe that there can be sincere, non-bigoted dissent on this issue? Certainly one of the principles the Founders embedded in the constitution is rights of the minority. But a majority rules otherwise. The question is: how far should that rule extend? Do people ever have a right to be wrong?

    As one who was once opposed to the idea of same-sex marriage, in deference to social and religious norms(even as an atheist), I quickly found like-minded people convincing me otherwise. That is to say, the only had to open their mouths to help change my mind. Marriage is a social norm, to be sure. But it's also a legal status. Governmental entities grant marriage licenses. As such, the Equal Protection clause applies.

    Quite right, separate but equal has never stood the test of time. Not for blacks, not for women.

    Even my Father, who is as homophobic as people come, said that nobody defines his marriage to my Mother other than the two of them.

    While I'm no fan of marriage--I don't need anyone or any piece of paper to remind me of the bounds of my love of another--there certainly is no legal basis for denying marriage to same-sex couples.

    It is indeed only a matter of time, North Carolina notwithstanding.

  2. Although that is an amazing, powerful video which definitely should be shared, I wish I hadn't watched it. It broke my heart on so many levels. Empathy can hurt. My tears are real.

  3. It is powerful and heart breaking. When will compassion and humanity break through? I do not know but I can do my part.