Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Weekend Words

Great writing is hard work. I certainly don't consider myself a writer much less a great one, but I am inspired by the words I read that others have put forward. They challenge me, educate me and push me further in different directions that I might not have ever considered. Time spent lost in books is never ill spent, at least in my opinion. Books have been a staple part of my diet ever since I learned to read at 5 years old. They opened the world to me and made me the man I am now. Thousands of books went through my hands at a rapid pace and I am always looking for the next one. I am currently working my way through about 6 books at the moment. They all live in different places and are read at those locations. One is in my car, another in my day bag for the coffee shop. There are two in my bedroom, another one on the sun porch for the deck. They are just kind of scattered through out my life and as I visit them, I go places and meet people. As each one ends, another one begins. They all come into my life in some random fashion, as I neither buy books but rather find them for free, are given them by friends and strangers or take them on loan from my local Library.

Why am I rambling about books? I have no idea. I came here thinking how incredibly difficult it has been to try to blog about my life lately, which got me to thinking about good writing, which showed me rather than have some form of writers block, perhaps lately I have simply been lazy in my communication habits or for whatever reason, possibly reticent in sharing what has been going on. I shall attempt to resolve this a bit now. On another tangent, I was also challenged this morning by my friend Joe (you can find his blog over to the left) to write a post with an actual topic in mind. He asked me to write and answer his question, " Why do I go to church?" I hope to come back and answer that one after I have had some time to think about it. I rarely ever write with a topic in mind, so that may be rather interesting.

Where was I? Ah...yes. My life lately. Let's start with this last weekend. I spent three days doing only what I wanted, with whom I wanted to be with, in all the places and spaces that I love. I flew my kite at the park, went running around the Country Club Plaza, toured all the new art exhibits at the Nelson Atkins Art Museum, had coffee and read books at my cafe, hung out with my friends Mark and Bruce at their lovely home, went to a Preakness Pool party at Karleen's house with Michael, attended a fundraiser for the different organizations that rescue and place dogs with new homes, ate at some of my favorite restaurants, hung out on the patio at the Blue Grotto people watching and playing wingman to my str8 buddies(you are welcome, David). Just a very full and amazing three days. From sun up to sun down, I filled each day with the people, places and activities that I love and for that I am incredibly grateful.

On another note, yes, I have been spending more time with Michael as of late. We are still great friends and our lives just fit. It is strange how we have fallen back into relating to each other like a married couple, even though we have established some healthy boundaries in our friendship. Or at least I thought we had...

I slept over at his place Saturday night, as the day stretched well into the early morning hours. I was driving everyone around to all the events, as I was not drinking, and we crashed into bed around 3 am. It had been a long and good day and both of us were tired and he was actually a bit tipsy. We snuggled up and slept all night and I awoke to the sun streaming in through linen drapes and a curled up guy in my arms. All fine and good. I love sleeping with my friends, even if they have been more than friends in the past. It is a closeness and intimacy that most guys in this country miss out on. I had to piss like a race horse which was made harder to do by raging morning wood, but I managed to get out of bed without waking him, stood on my head to take a leak and then let the dogs out to play in the backyard. I sat on the deck for a while, as I have done so many other countless times and considered how good life was and how much I enjoyed spending life and time with him again.

I let him sleep in, made myself some coffee and breakfast and sat in the living room simply content to play with the dogs and be present. I decided to not go to church as I wanted to hang out with my friend. I brought him some coffee, water, ibuprofen, orange juice, toast and eggs on a tray with his paper, like the olden days. I took a shower and he finally roused himself enough to get out of bed and resume his horizontal position on the couch with the dogs...lol It was obvious he was not going to be out and about, but then he usually rests on Sunday anyway.

He had woke up horny, like I always do and wanted to do something about it. Needless to say, I had already got off twice that morning. Once in the shower, as usual and then another time on the couch, as it typically takes a few times to get the morning hornies out of my system...sometimes more than a few times, but I digress. He still was sporting his hardon from sleeping in and it wasn't going away, not even after over an hour and he started complaining about it, waving it at me and grousing about how much it hurt and how long it had been since he got laid. You know, the usual grumpy, horny guy stuff. So then he started in on me, following me around, talking about what he wanted to do and being the usual horndog a guy can be. I briefly considered taking him to the bedroom, throwing him down and screwing the hell out of him like he wanted, but actually resisted and did not respond. I literally had to physically peel him off of me when I left to go to Bruce's house. He didn't want to go with me but kept hugging me, so he could hump  and grind on me, kept kissing me to get me to make out and generally being a pest with a boner. It was cute and yes, I am still attracted to him, but there is no way I was going to go there with him. Not right now, not until we have some serious discussions about our boundaries and friendship...again. *wry grin*

So yeah, the weekend was great, except for the part where Michael turned into me and I had to escape. I feel bad for laughing so hard, but I swear he was like a little boy who wasn't getting his way. Those tricks and puppy dog eyes (not to mention his awesome dick and bubble butt) have always worked on me in the past, but we are friends now, not boyfriends, not partners, not fuck buddies and for some reason, I do not want to get more confused, even though the sex would have been amazing and a welcome diversion.

Ramble, blah, blah, blah. I am going to get some coffee. I will come back and either try to answer Joe's question today or just talk more about my so called life and whatever else comes to mind. It is a beautiful day!



  1. “…and lead me not into temptation…

    …for I can find it myself easily.”

  2. Isn't that the truth, Max! It was strange to be able to smile and say no when at another time in my life there was nothing in me that could resist him. Life has a funny way of changing, I guess. I love him and always will, I just no longer desire him as I once did. When we decided to part ways romantically, it was just as hard a decision as it was to choose to love him in the first place. Sounds strange, but true. Having been loved and hurt once, I can no longer inhabit that space.

    As far as finding temptation, it is everywhere and only a glance or a wink away at times. I can take care of myself and would rather not romp with a stranger. That Daemon has long since grown up, I believe.


  3. I can so relate to taking care of business myself. Some time ago I said to a friend, I am tired of kissing strangers.