Thursday, April 12, 2012
The skies are gray this morning. Low clouds and cool temperatures have lured me back into the sweater stacks from the armoir and I have chosen something in charcoal wool with leather wrapped toggles to ward off the chill I feel on my skin, as well as in my heart.
I have had time to reflect on an emotional crisis I found myself swirling in a few nights past. Unsure am I as to what may have triggered the flood of tears and emotion, but a long nights talk with a friend and two evenings of rest have somewhat settled me back into space where I can attempt to wrest success from the arms of uncertainty, confusion, pain and defeat.
Depression is not something that ever finds me long but I do experience a certain amount of agony over dark spaces and circumstances from my past. Events beyond my control that have been carefully packed away sometimes loom ever near and I am learning that it may possibly be time to examine them with some more objective help than my own musings and ponderings.
Answers, I have few. Questions, I have many. Today I will spend time with music, books, art and strangers. I aim to put some miles on my feet today and hope that in my wanderings a certain solitude and tranquility can be found. I will walk old and new paths. My pen is ready and the pages blank are many. I am somewhat anxious as to what I may find residing in my soul.
Contemplation and self examination are the uniform of the day. I will let you know how it goes with me.
You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds. ~Henry David Thoreau