Monday, April 9, 2012

"Unwanted" Same Sex Attraction?

I'll be honest. The first 1000 (approximate) times I heard this phrase, I thought (knew) it was total and complete utter horseshit, to be honest. I figured it was some "christianese" coined by some "counselor" in order to help religious gay guys put some label on their denial of identity and self loathing. (built into them by their blind faith in some teachers interpretation of the Bible)  AKA " God hates the gays. Don't be gay or Jesus won't love you. He also wants to burn you with fire..." Same song second verse...a little louder a little worse.

 I believed this, that is I did until I flipped the tables on myself. Divesting myself of faith based religious dogma, rhetoric and and learned information (IE basically other peoples utter rubbish) I wondered...

If I,  a gay guy, suddenly found/learned/discovered within myself an urge to date/fuck/lust/desire/marry/sire with/etc.. a female, what the hell would I do?

I would  go completely ape shit. Like bonkers. Everything in me would be turned upon itself. Right is left. Black is white. Up is down. Girls are boys. Literally, it would freak my ass out. (sorry for profanity, but I would certainly be cursing the day I was born and lived if this occurred) Me, a person completely devoted to all things male loving the fish? "OH HELL NO!", he replied. we are with a dilemma. Either the "christian" guys with "SSA" are in this special sect (as of yet, not defined, studied or classified) of heterosexual guys who discover an anomaly in themselves and attempt to resolve it and can't reconcile it with their "faith" OR they are just big homos like the rest of us and want some cock and ass (or guy on guy loving)  and can't figure out how to fit that into their lives. It seems to revolve around "SEX" for them. Basically cock, ass and guy faggotry. (sorry, couldn't resist)

Funny thing is isn't about sex. Guys have sex with guys. They aren't gay. They are having sex with guys. Gay = who you emotionally, spiritually and romantically bond with as a gender. (as I live and understand it)

For instance, in the "christian" world, we never hear about gay guys (or girls) having UOSA. Unwanted Opposite Sex Attraction. Right? Sounds like total bullshit again...

So, what the hell is going on?

Get the fuck over it! You like dick? Fine. You want some pussy? Fine. Just don't try to color your attractions in some better light in order to make yourself palatable to a religious group. Call it like it is. Who cares who you love or fuck? (or get fucked by) We all have stuff we don't like about ourselves. That doesn't make us "sinners", or better or worse than our peers. Man the fuck up and be honest and stop hiding behind acronyms. That shit is for faggots. Literally.(I know. I was in the Navy)

So what is it? Is SSA a "christian" cultural phenom of the climate OR a real occurrence in str8 guys? (who happen to be "christian" 9 times out of 9) Seems like real guys who have questions or confusions sort that stuff out on their own...

Just wondering...



  1. I think it is a Religious - not only necessarily Christian - cultural phenomenon. One would not feel bad about being homosexual (aka. having same sex attractions) if one was not taught via ones religious sect that such attractions were intrinsically evil.

  2. Can you say, "D E N I A L"

    /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ <--- me applauding this post.

  3. I feel like robbing a thousand bucks today. I could use the money. I'm sure the store would be insured for the cash. The bible says stealing is wrong, but it's what I want and no one really would be harmed from it. And besides, I honestly do like the thrill, the emotions, of taking off with somebody else's money. Who cares what anyone else thinks. All those Christians saying it's wrong? What do they know? And what is with all those people who feel like me but don't steal? They say they have these unwanted desires to steal, but what are they talking about? How could they not want this?

    To answer that question, and yours, Daemon, it is because those desires are wrong, if you take the bible and traditional Christian teachings literally (and no I don't really have any desire to steal anything--just using that as an analogy).

    I struggle just as a thief, a drunkard, a liar, an adulturer, a murderer, or anyone else who sins. If it is wrong to engage in homosexual activities, then those desires to do so are temptations, and are therefore unwanted.

    I don't understand a lot of things. I feel mixed up a lot between being gay and being Christian. So do a lot of other people. Please have compassion, patience, and some level of understanding concerning us. It's not easy accepting something is okay that you've been told you're whole life is wrong, and especially when your faith and identity is concerned. And it's equally not always easy resisting something that is wrong when you feel so compelled to it.

    As for liking women, I personally couldn't care less if those desires ever come about. Some guys feel different about that though. They think they have to change. I don't want that. I just want to do whatever is pleasing to God. If that means not being with other men, then so be it.

  4. Just to add a bit further, and answer another of your questions, I really don't think anyone who claims to be struggling with or having SSA is straight. It literally is gay guys (gals too) who believe God did not intend for people to be gay and who want to honor God by resisting any of their desires to be with someone of the same sex. Not just for sex, but for the relationship, the romance, the bonding, etc.

  5. Brandon,

    Are you attempting to equate personal identity with the action of theft? Do you believe that some people are naturally born thieves? I find this to be yet another straw man. argument. Please reconsider your logic and line of reasoning. It is predictably flawed. I can empathize with you, due to the things that have been impressed upon you by people that you respect and trust, I simply know them to not be truth, but rather an opinion. Search your own heart. Live your best life. Take into consideration that there are many people in this life who are not looking out of that same window.


  6. Daemon,

    I was not trying to equate everything about homosexuality to thievery. Nor was I trying to equate personal identity with the action of theft (though if a person believes himself a thief, and continuously acts upon that temptation, then I suppose such a person could identify himself in such a fashion). I was only tying to demonstrate that if both are sins, the temptations to do either should be looked at as unwanted. Why would anyone want a temptation to do something that they believe is wrong to do? I was only trying to relate what you were saying about one sin to another kind; if you applied what you were saying about homosexuality to another type of sin (could have been any other sin I used). I know not everyone looks at everything the same way. Or, for that matter, understands everything in the same way. And I respect that. I'm not trying to force any particular view on you or anything like that. But I was trying to clarify, or give voice to, the people you were talking about. SSA individuals are gay. But because they believe traditional Christian teachings, they choose not to act on their desires to be with someone of the same sex, and view the temptations to want to be with someone like that as unwanted. This includes any identity built upon those desires. It's not that difficult, really. It's the same as wanting to do anything else that you know, or believe, is wrong. Like a theif trying not to steal, or a murderer trying not to murder, or a liar trying not to lie, or an adulturer trying not to cheat on his wife, or an alcoholic trying not to drink, or any other sinnner trying not to commit the sin/s they're drawn to the most. Some may want to become straight in their journey along this path, believing that is how God intended for them to be, and that should be their choice to pursue that if they wish (though I do not personally believe that should be anyone's main objective and that it's best for most along that path to probably remain celibate).

    As for people being naturally born thieves or in any other way sinful as such, no I do not believe that, nor was that what I was trying to say. But I do believe everyone is born prone to want to sin in some fashion. The desire to rebell is within us, I mean. That's why we all inevitably sin at some time in our lives and why we need Christ. That's not to suggest that we're born to certain types of sin though. I wouldn't say a person born homosexual is sinful just by that fact alone. It's when a person acts on those desires, beginning a sexual/romantic relationship with someone of the same sex that they become sinful in this regard (and of course you know this is something I'm struggling some with at the moment--again, I'm just trying to give voice to the people you were talking about).

    I hope you're well and enjoy the day off.