Much on my mind...

Today has been an eventful and unusual day to say the least. The main plan was to take it easy, get packed for the Man Trip and then rock out with Hillsong United tonight at Starlight Theater.

And then rain happened! NOT just a few showers, but a solid downpour of solid thunderstorms ALL DAY LONG!

Needless to say, the concert was at an outdoor venue and the water was pouring down the stairs like rivers and there was NO shelter whatsoever, and umbrellas in the performance were strictly verboten. I was sooooo excited about this night, ever since my friend introduced me to their music and I started buying their CD's.

Long story short, after a lot of waiting at the coffee shop, some serious misery, getting to skip the line at the gate, I decided that I was going home.

It totally sucked donkey dick.

I cannot afford to get sick before this retreat with the guys. I cannot say I was enthused about being in a downpour that would interrupt the concert all night and no hope of relief and enjoying myself. This made me sad, but I am sure I will travel somewhere and catch their show soon, IN AN INDOOR VENUE! Why was this not scheduled at our awesome new Sprint Arena, or the new Performing Center out East? This choice of venue made NO SENSE to me!

Okay, now that it is out of my system, I can put my feet up and prepare myself for this coming weekend. I am still pretty hopped up and happy about this whole camping trip and wondering what it is going to be like with all the guys from my church. (FYI: I rented a cabin due to understanding April weather patterns, UNLIKE concert planners who shall remain nameless!) Though they are now calling for huge storms and are having tornadoes in the area of Kansas I will be at, I am still going forward with this trip. Something is going to happen. I can just tell. It is that anticipation and waiting, that knowing that God is going to break something loose, or teach me something or I am going to share and meet with people who will impact my life in these coming years in an even deeper way.

So yeah, I am pretty pumped. Kind of wondering how it is all going to go down, as I am the only "out" guy at my church. I never make my orientation a point of interest, but I also do not hide my relationship to community and friends either. This will be an interesting exercise in communication and understanding on all our parts, as we are going to be having some discussions, teaching sessions and hosted conversations that will certainly touch on masculinity, sexuality and relational living with our brothers in Christ.

So yeah, I am also kind of nervous. How am I more masculine than so many of my urban hipster chic metro-sexual buds? I mean c'mon...these guys are str8, some are married and kidded and still are these soft, sensitive, pretty folk...lol I'll get over myself I guess. There is something for me here and I need to open my eyes, ears and heart to all the differentness what we each bring to the circle. Bonfires... oh yeah! Australian football with REAL Australians! YES! I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of mud involved this weekend, many clothing and shoe changes and multiple showers...lol

I need to get my heart in the right place and get some face time in with God before I head out, cause I am still pretty scattered and scared all over the place. Oh, need to call Michael too. He is not real thrilled that I will be gone for 3 days, out in the wilderness with a bunch of dudes who are certainly not unattractive. So many little questions from him, and yep, I am going to miss the guy something silly. But I NEED this time to work on ME. How can I be right and do right by him if I am not in line with Him?

Hmmm...this is really turning into some kind of rambling crap story, so I am just going to shut up and come back later tonight when I have me thoughts in order. Ciao for now!