Saturday, June 18, 2011

All over the place

To thunder rolling through the clouds and lightening crashing down, today I awoke. The sweet sounds of a summer rain storm were my alarm and I laid there in the flashing light as water streamed the windows and painted an early morning flickering light across the walls and my skin. The illusion of water all around took me to a place of peace and I was content to simply be, if even for a moment.

So much seems to change while staying the same in my life. Those who knew me in childhood still find my face familiar and the winding routes I take daily are haunts of former trails I walked and drove while growing up. From the ends of the earth and back to home I find myself. Is anything ever different or like the water falling from the sky, does it simply go round to whence it returned?

I have been writing here for a couple of years and the paths in my mind and heart are familiar to those who have stayed with me and perused these pages over time. The same loops and questions, thoughts and desires are visited again and again. The names and places change over the days, but I am still me. Will anything ever be different or is this my lot in life?

The stirring sounds of bagpipes seem to echo my hearts cry this day and I can sit here while they skreel, lifting almost as if in a prayer my yearning and hope for a brighter tomorrow, a bit of peace and some healing to all these tender and wounded places in my soul. I so long for another day, one not like this day, where my now meets my dreams and I find rest and solace to the ever churning and wanderingness of that part of me that seeks and never seems to find.

For now, I simply let the rain fall and wait.

How long...

How long, indeed.

1 comment:

  1. Life is about the trip I guess. We always imagine that others have found that true love and live a life of bliss. A lot of shrinks will tell you otherwise. I remember watching 'The Taming of the Shrew' with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and the line 'Any man who gives up his freedom to get married is a fool!' lol. Freedom is wonderful but can be lonely, commitment and marriage can be initially wonderful but eventually boring (easier to get into than out of). To have one you must give up some of the other. - Wayne :)