Saturday, June 4, 2011


I need life to slow down. It seems to be rushing at and by me with breath taking speed. Things are happening to me and I feel like I am struggling to stay afloat. Things keep changing. It isn't how it always has been. I find myself confused more often instead of confident. I don't like the not knowing part.

What is going on? Who am I becoming? When did things get so complicated? I had a long talk with a friend this morning about it all and he just let me ramble on and on, trying to get my head emptied of all the questions that had built up over the last year.

Change is hard to take, but it is always something that I have craved. Am I becoming a fundamentally different person, or merely discovering new things about myself. People tend to come and go in my life rather frequently and there are few constants. Family and close friends remain, but who are all these people who keep pausing then passing by?

Ever feel like life is happening to you? I guess maybe I am just overwhelmed and a bit stressed out, but about what, I am not all sure. I feel strangely unsettled and discontent which is odd, since everything seems to be in its correct place. Odd, that?

I really need a nap, but I had way too much coffee and someone keeps talking to me, every time I lay down. I guess maybe I am having a rough day? Is this what unhappy feels like? Things are just "off" in some way. Everything seems right but I am just not feeling it.

Strange...I'll shut up now.

1 comment:

  1. I remember being a kid and how slowly time passed; a day seemed like forever. Everything stayed the same and nothing changed; life was predictable, familiar, and safe (no wonder youth think they are immortal). Older people complain that change is too quick; they like the comfort of sameness. I often think there is information overload in this techno-age; cells have become a ball-and-chain and it seems like personal privacy and freedom have been diminished. Maybe the big outdoors and nature is the cure; too much screen time and personal drama is stressful. Everyone needs to get outside in the sun so they can feel human again. Our modern technological age is relatively new and we are coping with it with cave-man genes. No wonder the shrinks have so much business. My mountain bike does the job for me; nature, no cell, the sun, the birds singing, fast heartbeat and breathing. I feel relaxed and stress free when I get home. If you have a good friend you can confide in well I'd say you are doing ok. - Wayne :)