Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Heterosexual Privelege Check List

On a daily basis as a straight person:

  1. I can be pretty sure that my room mate, hall mates and class mates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
  2. If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
  3. When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
  4. I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
  5. I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE Fag Tag or Smear the Queer).
  6. I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
  7. I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
  8. I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
  9. I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
  10. People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
  11. People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
  12. I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
  13. My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
  14. People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
  15. I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
  16. I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
  17. I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
  18. I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
  19. Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
  20. I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
  21. My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
  22. I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
  23. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
  24. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
  25. Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
  26. I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in my workplace.
  27. I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
  28. I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
  29. I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
  30. I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
  31. I can go for months without being called straight.
  32. I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
  33. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
  34. In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
  35. People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
  36. I can kiss a person of the opposite gender on the heart or in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
  37. Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
  38. People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out” ) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer” ) .
  39. I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
  40. I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.
I thought this was a pretty good list that Davey put together, so I posted it here. What else would you add to it? I am going to put my thoughts together and start my own list. What are your thoughts?


  1. 41. I never had to hear my parents cry and say they failed when raising me because I turned out heterosexual.

    42. I am never accused of my friendships with other members of my gender being based strictly on my sexual orientation.

  2. Er 41 and 42 are William's, but they are right on. I'm sure there are more that can be added to that list. I am a retired homosexual guy and being forced to live a lie growing up was what I hated the worst (we were called 'Queers' back then, and the terms 'gay' and 'closet' were not in use). So I was somewhat envious of the above list, but as the years went by I was not so envious. The beautiful slim girls my heterosexual friends got married to were 300lbs a few kids and years later. I think they were bored to death being tied down to a family and mortgage, and envied the freedom us closet single guys had. Most were lucky to get laid once a month after being married 5yrs. And 'hell hath no fury' as a woman in divorce court; one guy on my crew said all he had left after 20yrs of work (with good wages) and two divorces was a used car and a guitar in the trunk. Another guy was left with $400 a month to live on after he paid child support and alimony. The superintendent of the plant was paying half of his substantial pay every month in alimony. Another guy on my crew had his wife take off with a guy to the USA where both worked as nurses for big bucks, and he still had to send child support payments to them. Another guy's ex-wife was shacked up with a rich lawyer and he still had to pay alimony cos they weren't married. These are true stories from my years at work, so don't think the grass is always greener on the other side. Over 50% of common law and married couples eventually split up, but it is the man who is taken to the cleaners.
    -Being gay has it's perks; I am suspicious that a lot of the slander directed at homosexuals by straight people is because they are envious of the relative freedom we have, and hate it when others are having fun and they are not. So when you hear derogatory comments just give them a smug smile; I'm sure when they see gay guys having hot sex on the Internet sites that they must think maybe they are missing out on something; maybe this is the reason for the growing 'bisexual' population? In many ways my sexuality has given me an experience of life that I would never trade for being straight. I have always loved being homosexual and have never wished otherwise in spite of having to co-exist in straight society. Don't be too quick to envy straight people cos they have their share of bullcrap to put up with that we don't. Make the best of this life and play your cards right. - Wayne :)

  3. 43) You don't have to go to your class reunion only to discover everyone thought you were dead. Your father apparently said you were after he found out you had a long-term loving monogamous same-gender partner.