Sunday, September 27, 2009
Take me out to the Ball Game!
What an awesome day! I woke up early this morning, got cleaned up and cut my hair, put on some new shoes and walked out into an adventure. The roads were open, the sky clean, the top down and I was smiling all the way to church.
Erik spoke this morning on Genesis 4, a story of two brothers, two offerings, one death and a life of wandering the earth. How sin removes us from that conversation with God, and the grace he provides in spite of our broken and fragmented way of dealing with the temptations in our lives. I broke hard this morning weeping for it all, and finally cared not what people may have thought. God was speaking to me and doing something deep inside. Each song seemed to reveal and heal. As I stood before God today, crying and shaking, I felt the arms of my friend Stephen wrap around me, his head on my shoulder and simply hold me. No words, no open prayer, just comfort and the clear presence of a brother. You are not alone, we are all in this life and struggle together. I love you, God loves you, it will be OK. All of these things were communicated with out words. What an intimate and close thing for him to do. Thanks Stephen for being my friend, a confidant, prayer partner and truth speaker. I know it is not easy to reach out to someone like me, or to ignore what others may think. You are truly an answer to prayer! Peace and blessing to you.
This afternoon after church, Joel, his Dad, Stephen and I went to a Royals game and they won! Kick ass! We spent alot of time talking about life, what's going on in our circles and how things are changing for us all in this time of transition. It is so good to make honest, good friends, who want nothing more from me than to walk with me and share life. I am learning to listen more and not be so quick to run from emotions and feelings. This place of trust and vulnerability, while new, is beginning to do good things in my life. I look forward to this fall and all the activities and areas of ministry that are opening up. Keep it coming! I am loving it!
One thing that was awesome today, was a reprieve, or time out, from lust. It may sound simple, but no one caught my eye today and got me riled up. It is almost as if I was blind, if for a time, to all the things that normally catch my eyes, heart and mind and hold me a slave. Thanks God for small victories. It is truly in my releasing control that God can move.
This week is a blank slate...and I am OK with that for once. What will happen? I am kind of excited!