Saturday, October 31, 2009
I've read many things lately from other people about being single and it made me think today, about all kinds of stuff. This is the longest stretch of time that I have gone in life without dating anyone, or being in a long term relationship. Four whole years.
After typing that out, it seems kind of weird. How have I managed to keep it all together this long without another guy in my life? I have friends, sure, but no one that is skin close. I am not in love, which feels strange too, but, I am okay with that? It took a long time to get used to sleeping by myself, or not holding hands in the car, or having a good night kiss, or being held and watching the sun rise.
Other things have been priority. Career, home, family, friends, cars, activities, church, God, and somehow all that time got filled up. I am kind of neutral about that, maybe because I haven't given it alot of thought?
My emotions and moods can move a bit as the days go by, running into old boyfriends and social groups will do that, but that pain and angst seems to be tempered with a contentment that I did not realize I had till I examined it. I am okay.
My eyes aren't as hungry as they used to be? Sure, I get horny all the time, but that deep longing and looking for the overneath of the innertween seems to be lessening? Maybe this is a short reprieve, or maybe I am just at a different time in my life, but single right now, suits me?
There are many things I miss about being a couple but I won't go into that now. Suffice it to say, I think it is okay with my world right now to wake up alone. Simple I guess. Somehow, someway, someday, I will figure out who I am supposed to share this all with.