Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Measuring Worth

I wonder what matters to me? What are the things that I hold dear? What holds my esteem and love? Can they be measured by what I spend time on or with? Is it merely a relative calculation? Physical things are easy to measure. Counting what can be seen is simple, but does it truly provide an adequate measure of the relative importance and dearness to me?

What about the people, places and things that matter greatly to me emotionally and spiritually? How does one count what a person "wishes" were more important? My desire for some things far outweighs the reality of the grasp that I have on it. I so need, so hope for some things to be important to me, but sometimes they fall to the way side, or often I do not have the maturity or growth in my life to make it so.

Today was amazing. I learned much more than I taught or shared with others. Walking to work this morning, I was halted by my name called out into the morning air. Looking around, in front of the coffee shop, I spotted a familiar smile and welcome face, and one look at the eyes brought so much back. It was one of my "hims". While he was one of a set of twins, I would never mistake him for his brother, and man, it was so good to see him! Talk about a bone crushing hug! He is just as short as I remembered, but those curly locks have been traded in for something more mature and reserved. Brown eyes gleamed and a ready smile, quick to laugh and slow to speak. Time changes much, but also preserves. We are men now, grown up, so different... but yet the same. The years kind of melted and we caught up on our lives and experiences since we last were together. It was bittersweet I guess. A smile rode my face all the way to work, but we parted ways and left it at that. I am glad that I saw him.

This thing I know: people matter to me.

How to measure the worth of my past? The lessons I have learned. The unique perspective I have on this life. No one quite sees it like I do. We all have different views.

Its value lies in what I will do with it. Will I put it to use? Will I share and teach? Will I be worthy?

I will be what I am now becoming.

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